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theciscokidder.bsky.social
Stay home dad. Left af. Shitposter extrodinare 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ he/him New posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaaczmcypwicq Hopefully my new posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaabm4x5djh5k
19,184 posts 24,129 followers 3,942 following
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Posts 40 Comments 10

I'm not suggesting anything, but other presidents were assassinated for less.

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

Sad trombone noises for when you hear a recording of your own voice.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

young Gollum will have a crazy bush I bet

submitted 353 days ago • 1 comment

When I was a kid my brother convinced me that fibreglass insulation was cotton candy.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I get separation anxiety whenever I'm away from my bed for too long

submitted 187 days ago • 3 comments

8yo, at imaginary kitchen: What can I get you? My wife: I'll get a cheeseburger Me: And I'll have aged unicorn skewers on a bed of breaded smurf brains

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

Free therapy session from my garden 🙂

submitted 7 hours ago • 6 comments

Excuse me, but do you have a fuck off button?

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Long story short, she misunderstood when I said I had a huge wok.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I know it’s coincidence but still, thunderstorms off and on all day and a dog I used to love who’s terrified of thunderstorms so she won’t go outside and also has diarrhea AND it’s Friday the 13th?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

My family claims they don't want to go to Disney World but I keep getting Mick's signals.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

Music clears the static noise from my cluttered mind.

submitted 15 hours ago • 5 comments

FindMy for my chapstick.

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

hello i would like 1 motivation please

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Hey, stupid. Don't buy the zip ties, rope, hammer, shovel, plastic garbage bags, rubber gloves, hacksaw, bleach, and quick lime all at the same big box store. Make the cops work a little bit. I want my taxpayer money's worth.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

THIS!!!

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

3am: man I wish my gym was open 5am: too tired to gym now

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Should I go to a protest saturday or put a fork in a socket

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

getting a car wash. thought of you.

submitted 1 day ago • 15 comments

I was a gifted child and I have been re-gifted many times since.

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

look what they took from us

submitted 1 day ago • 37 comments

Being a great shitposter requires total freedom from shame. And sometimes employment.

submitted 1 day ago • 13 comments

my skin is so fair i get sunburnt just from a particularly toothy smile and also the regular way

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

Showing your child affection improves their mental and physical well-being, increases brain development, and might even one day save the American taxpayers forty-five million dollars.

submitted 15 hours ago • 23 comments

it works better when you sing it out loud

submitted 22 hours ago • 1 comment

How I take criticism

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Starting to think no one is showing up for the orgy

submitted 23 hours ago • 2 comments

Good morning Let’s go see what I posted last night

submitted 14 hours ago • 2 comments

Obviously, I have a problem with authority. So I believe I 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 have a second sample of that spinach ravioli, Costco cop.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Idk who put that much THC in my edible last night, but I’d like to thank them.

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

Flowers are the only positive I have at the moment.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

COP: *writing ticket* 87mph in a school zone MARTY MCFLY: *sweating* there’s no ‘future cocaine’ in the glove box COP: what MARTY MCFLY: what

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

The older I get, the closer I am to walking out to the mailbox in my nightgown.

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

"You went to Juilliard?!" "Yeah. She let me shoot gophers out back." "Julie's yard.... Let's pretend this conversation never happened."

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Hummingbird found shelter in the rain

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Wife: I have good news and bad news. Me: What's the good? Wife: I lost 5 lbs. Me: I'm happy for you! And the bad? Wife: It all came out of my boobs. Me: Oh, I'm sad for both of us.

submitted 13 hours ago • 5 comments

Any plans this weekend? Yeah, might get crazy and shave above the knees.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

Them: Remember? Me: No

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

Fear and Loathing in America

submitted 16 hours ago • 4 comments

Extroverts are like solar panels—they thrive in the sun. I’m more like a mushroom. I thrive in damp, dark places and occasionally poison people.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments