theilluminati.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

You kinda wonder where Schumer gets the idea that penning a stern letter works, given that 80% of his job is ignoring his voters' stern letters

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

Is this the professor's real name or a nickname Pope Francis gave him

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The more you pay for a can of diet coke, the warmer it's gonna be. $1? Your tongue is getting stuck on that can. $3.75? Fully sun-baked, the twelve pack left out next to the cooler at the barbecue for your sober friend

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

As an art respecter I don't think the Cardinals should be hotboxing the Sistine Chapel

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

If anyone's curious what's going on in Upper West Side politics, they are trying to go full "avenge Laken Riley" about an injured chihuahua

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Someone I follow on Instagram keeps doing skits where they're two people talking to each other but they face the same way off camera as each character and that's honestly worse than not knowing how to use email in the year 2025

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Spider-Man is gonna have to fight this dude. He's going to have to fight him and then be really sad about it.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

The average American has three friends

submitted 8 days ago • 8 comments

Breaking Strom Thurmund's gooning record

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

THE FUCKIN MOVIES BABY

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I didn't think it was possible for a vampire movie to have a better music sequence than the shirtless guy in leather pants playing I Still Believe on the saxophone in Lost Boys but Ryan Coogler proved me wrong like thirty consecutive times

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

There is a moment in Sinners where I physically did this in a theater harder than I've ever done it before and then I was doing it every five minutes for the rest of the movie

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Truly thought this headline was about the rock act that gave us One of These Nights, Hotel California, Take it to the Limit, and the always ethereal Journey of the Sorcerer

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Don't you dare frame this as hypocrisy: He was the one who bullied that brother into taking the drugs and also repeatedly dosed him. RFK has been a lifelong supporter of heroin overdoses and lives his values every day

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

A LOT OF STOVERHEADS EAGER TO SEE IT IN THEATERS AGAIN AFTER READING THE BEST NOVELIZATION OF ALL TIME

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The band Reagan Youth, on their self-titled album Reagan Youth, in their song Reagan Youth, during the era of the Reagan Youth: Reagan is turning our teenage boys into television-addled, violence crazed nazis Media 40 years later: Gen X men seem to have some alarming opinions and nobody knows why??

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Some people correct Wikipedia vandalism when they find it. I like to leave them, and visit them from time to time. Like finding a delicate flower in the forest. "Wow, this kid calling his friend gay has lasted for fourteen years." What resilience! What beauty!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Love how out of touch this website is, I just saw a skeet where someone called something a "mike drop"

submitted 14 days ago • 4 comments

okay, but what if that baby was a member of ms13

submitted 14 days ago • 57 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

movie u have watched more than six times using gifs (hard mode no star wars star trek or LOTR)

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Everyone who ever wants to run a productive meeting should spend their formative years running roleplaying games

submitted 16 days ago • 3 comments

First: Raffi (I don't remember this but I bet I lost my shit during Baby Beluga) First I remember: Weird Al, second grade - heard about it when they advertised it on the radio and begged my parents like nobody has ever begged their parents before

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

You may not like it but you actually have to be this insane to have fun online now. This guy is having the time of his life. He's experiencing the internet with the unbridled sense of possibility that you haven't felt since Ebaum's World in 2004. And then he's logging off and alienating his family

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Bro they lobotomized your aunt

submitted 18 days ago • 245 comments

Okay but girlie you didn't go to a real school and also your clear undiagnosed ADHD caused you to take actions that made your mom disown you, like anyone who studies you agrees on this

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

Ugh I’m getting so many of these

submitted 18 days ago • 144 comments

You can just anoint yourself Pope! This is the secret Big Cardinal doesn't want you to know about!!!

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I am the next pope I am the next secretary of defense I am the universe experiencing itself

submitted 19 days ago • 15 comments

They're launching blue checks on BlueSky to shame the five users who aren't already journalists

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Pope: Dies in front of JD Vance JD Vance: Claps and honks like a seal

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Katy Perry must feel so let off the hook for killing that nun

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

one must imagine the itsy bitsy spider happy

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

This must feel so bad, physically. The heart jumping into your chest as you realize what you did, your cheeks filling up with blood. Maybe getting the shivers. Being a weird guy online just isn't worth it

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Teach your children about the scope of human endeavor: Make sure they know that well before AI generated slop, hundreds of thousands of artists worked tirelessly for no pay to ensure there was loving, handcrafted porn of anything you could think of

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment

"but dogs are so needy!" There is an animal in my house that can give me a high five

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments