themosasaurus.bsky.social
engineer and also a mosasaur
354 posts
49 followers
97 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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if you were a taco
and you were starving
would you eat yourself
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Only if they show up to vote. We high-level losers are a much more reliable electorate.
Typical LLLennial.
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similarly, this is what happens when you party way, way, too hard
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Jesus Christ that's fucked up. We all saw his Achilles snap.
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He's got Fredo vibes to me
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A piece of shit.
Because that's what I heard that he is.
Mike Lee, piece of shit.
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your son's hat is dope!! I'm jealous.
sweet picture!
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I heard Mike Lee is a piece of shit.
Mike Lee, Piece of Shit, and also a senator in his spare time.
anyway, just sharing what I heard about Piece of Shit Mike Lee, who is allegedly a piece of shit.
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Orange emphasis
You promise similar taste
Neon perfidy
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Highlighters don’t hold water back
But beckon a citrus-y snack
I gave it a lick
But ended up sick
And learned they’ll just make you yak!
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ok but do you or do you not have a journal
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oh gosh yes. a thousand times yes.
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what?
...what?
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You’ll never take me alive, coppers!!!
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A Friends-gif lesson of both of those, like his description of nuclear strike authorization, would be enjoyable though.
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la croix with a hard X because i want to disgust la croix enjoyers even more than the drink
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its always deafening in the paddock
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a rapid unscheduled dismissal, if you will
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🎵 🎶 two out of three ain't bad 🎶 🎵
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but will he ~~~prance~~~ with me
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far too seriously, considering the subject of this unfortunate commotion is a dude named "jurgen klopp", apparently
that is absolutely not the name of some sportman
it is most assuredly the name of an evil horse trainer in a pixar/disney movie, or some other horse-adjacent villain
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Is it not a horse?
I feel like “Klopp” is very likely a horse.
Strong horse vibes from this “Klopp”
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oh shit this is good
also orange chicken from Panda is delish
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forgot to swap to his burner account i guess
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the corncob prophecy is coming true
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aww, look at those little toesies!
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You can’t tell me what to do, your not my realdad
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chaps are fine
ass-less chaps sometimes draw attention from prudes and bigots who don't appreciate my being prepared for my prostate exam or colonoscopy
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excellent
"no i'm not crying, it's just raining"
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Please stop referring to me as a cow
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cha cha real smooth
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CRISS CROSS
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and people literally wear his mark on their foreheads
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"THE HAMLET" IS WHAT I CALL THE PADDOCK
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every dunkin I see, my brain goes "america runn no dun dun"
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yeah, this one right there. this one hits the giggle nerve
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could they bring his eyes closer together while they are at it
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this! this is all I think of these days!
I'm not discussing my day
I'm invoking my right to remain silent
I'd like to speak to my attorney
and then shut the fuck up
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TASTE OF HIS FOETID GIFTS, BROTHER
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what do they do about hanging chads at the popehaus
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It took me a while to realize that word jumble is supposed to be a badge and not Smokey Bear's head.
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it does not benefit the US or the prospects of any trade deal, because that is not the goal. the man couldn't give a fuck about a trade deal. the goal is to own the libs, garner vapid praise from immoral swindlers, and break something such that he can profit from it.
it benefits him, not US.
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This is the part that gets me. People need to have their own plunger. Especially three 20-something guys sharing an apartment.
I've been a 20-something guy sharing an apartment before. It's not pretty.
Also who asks a stranger if they can borrow a plunger? Like what? What?
What??