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theneedling.com
Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody) Have a hot headline tip? Send it to [email protected] TheNeedling.com
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Posts 42 Comments 8

#toosoon

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Tankya Woo

submitted 5 hours ago • 4 comments

“We can no longer afford to consider all the things,” says show host Ailsa Chang as she provided The Needling with a sample transcript of the newly abbreviated show. “That thing you’re worried about? Not going great. Now back to jazz.”

submitted 5 hours ago • 1 comment

Projectile Dysfunction 🤏

submitted 6 hours ago • 3 comments

NPR Budget Cuts Spawn ‘Some Things Considered’ Program: tinyurl.com/hnuwzbpm

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Tiananmen McTankFace

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

"Community Engagement"

submitted 16 hours ago • 5 comments

'the latest gun that won't fill the sucking void in every cop where a human soul should be'

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

How about "a huge waste of tax dollars?" or "How I lost my way to Ukraine and wound up in your neighborhood" p.s. "Will not brake for women and children"

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Peppered Bacon

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"The Seattle Process"

submitted 14 hours ago • 9 comments

Tanky McTankface, obviously.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Help SPD Name Its New Urban Warfare Tank! tinyurl.com/yysvmwa4

submitted 1 day ago • 113 comments

There are some decent responses here but I urge you to do better. I need to be entertained. Many thanks.

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

Fascist McFashface

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I shall christen the riot tank Saturday evening with a piss balloon

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I know we all got to name new snow plows (eg CTRL+SALT+DEL) but this is… ummmm… unexpected

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I snarfed my tea.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I propose the name of... Jenny Durkan... She did such a great job teargassing everyone during the protests in 2020, she deserves this honor!💥

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Help SPD Name Its New Urban Warfare Tank! tinyurl.com/yysvmwa4

submitted 1 day ago • 113 comments

I finally am willing to consider the possibility that SPD is at all invested in public safety

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“'I’ve been too scared to stand up to a bunch of rich Denny Blaine waterfront home owners, a group of transphobic religious freaks &... my own racist AF staff, I’m definitely not going to be able to stand up to our country’s 1st dictator,' Barnes said as he checked himself into a holding cell"💥READ💥

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“Seattle residents deserve to use their legal right to protest and even be nude at their favorite nude beach without being harassed, physically harmed, and jailed by a bunch of fascists I’ve been the boss of for the last three months,” said Barnes as he handcuffed himself.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self: tinyurl.com/y9tpbfzz

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

the bars are out of control, the needling is peak journalism

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

“Seattle residents deserve to use their legal right to protest and even be nude at their favorite nude beach without being harassed, physically harmed, and jailed by a bunch of fascists I’ve been the boss of for the last three months,” said Barnes as he handcuffed himself.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self: tinyurl.com/y9tpbfzz

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

I know this is satire, but that’s totally something RFK Jr. would say.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

DO NOT TEMPT FATE

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

FDA Bans Unleaded Baby Formula: tinyurl.com/mtehcxsf

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

“Modern American babies have become soft, barely able to hold their own head up high because the quacks at the FDA have been withholding the nutritious lead our children desperately crave,” said RFK Jr.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Mrs. Charles and I will start bootlegging the non-ethanol super-unleaded baby formula from Queets. I’ll help Queets make Medina look like Kent in comparison.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

That'll knock the 'tism out of those weakass babies

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

“Modern American babies have become soft, barely able to hold their own head up high because the quacks at the FDA have been withholding the nutritious lead our children desperately crave,” said RFK Jr.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

This is some top quality MS innuendo posting.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Nothing says MAHA liking feeding babies lead

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

The logo embodies the sexual tensions of the MS founders, who had to do everything w 3.5" floppies.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

FDA Bans Unleaded Baby Formula: tinyurl.com/mtehcxsf

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

“At first I couldn’t tell which team he played for, but after learning that he’s Power BI, he’s been on my mind 365.”

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Such a great way to deliver the vibe in a cost efficient manner. Are you paying attention Port Townsend?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

“At first I couldn’t tell which team he played for, but after learning that he’s Power BI, he’s been on my mind 365.”

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Sexual Tension Builds Between the Two Guys in the Microsoft Teams Logo: tinyurl.com/43a7stwf

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments