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theregoesrichie.bsky.social
the world below is made up emissions: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:o6jndh2ipxyybvilzriehr4t/feed/aaaoywnnxteqg
1,453 posts 2,114 followers 477 following
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Posts 45 Comments 4

They can get your order right or they can tell you how long it will take, but not both.

submitted 8 hours ago • 3 comments

Yes, you’re very attractive. No one cares

submitted 10 hours ago • 5 comments

someone should invent a kitchen you just have to clean once and it doesn’t get dirty again

submitted 8 hours ago • 4 comments

Turning the music down while driving to better taste my cheeseburger

submitted 13 hours ago • 17 comments

If I could go back in time and change one thing in my life, I’d never start Game of Thrones.

submitted 8 hours ago • 8 comments

1990s Summer would fix me.

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

Too many lawyers, not enough seaweed enthusiasts

submitted 11 hours ago • 5 comments

wasps don't sting me, and I don't sting them either

submitted 4 days ago • 13 comments

*leans into 🎤* 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙙𝙡𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙤𝙧

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Every photo of a planet looks like a giant gumball that I'd pay 25 cents to chew

submitted 22 hours ago • 13 comments

me an hour after going to legal dispensary for the first time

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

I’ve got two turntables and a microphone and a skateboard and a Batman comic and a purple buttplug.

submitted 498 days ago • 12 comments

If you're barking up the wrong tree, does it still make a sound?

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Impale me with lit dynamite, so I know it’s real

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

A sommelier but for french fries

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

oh nothing just drinking my attention juice

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I just want to know what kind of drugs people were using in the 70s to be able to enjoy 20-minute drum solos.

submitted 1 day ago • 29 comments

Sometimes refreshing the page refreshes my rage

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I’m going to all the rock shows I can this summer. 🤘🏻

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A spinning top suggests the existence of a stationary bottom.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

If you squint and look at the world sideways, it’s still fucking terrible.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

I shudder to think how much money I’ve spent on alcohol over the years. Or maybe that's delirium tremens

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

It was the best of awful times, it was the worst of awful times.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Me: I am very easy going Also me: just put it back where it belongs

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

Just bought a box of kitchen garbage bags at Costco that will definitely outlive me.

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

I divide history into before pizza and after pizza.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Girl, They Know: A memoir

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I recently successfully broke away from social media for a while but I didn't have anyone to brag about it to.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

they should make a rotisserie chicken you can vape

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

i won’t come down to your job at the dick sucking factory and smack the dick out of your mouth but i will tell you how to unionize your workplace

submitted 2 days ago • 10 comments

The only reason I don't carry a purse is because I mix up sunscreen with the pepper spray.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

If the Rapture preppers are right and their sky daddy is coming- let’s get this over with. We won’t miss any of you

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

A "break from reality" is probably less relaxing than it sounds

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

Wanna come over and hit me with a frying pan?

submitted 2 days ago • 26 comments

we can each have a teaspoon of hope, as a treat

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

I just found out that the wheels will fly off a shopping cart if you get it up over 20 mph.

submitted 1 day ago • 16 comments

You bring the vhs tapes of MTV Friday Night Videos and I'll bring the Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

Updating my resume: Nervous Breakdown 2016-present

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco and I left my penis pump in a Rancho Cucamonga Motel 6.

submitted 5 days ago • 8 comments

Ties you up just to make you watch me eat a popsicle.

submitted 2 days ago • 33 comments

Sometimes you just need someone to rub your butt and tell you a story.

submitted 155 days ago • 8 comments

Murder, She Said Into A Fan

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

*rides off into the sunset* *returns to get melatonin*

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

So honored to be the valedictorian of my anger management class.

submitted 172 days ago • 173 comments

if you sweat while eating, it totally counts as a workout

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments