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traciebreaux.bsky.social
Cajun, crawfish eater and ice road trucker. I'm still calling my posts tweets on here. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dzdcofxcag6e5hrz3moguzke/feed/aaacc7ag7jus6
188 posts 10,191 followers 678 following
Prolific Poster

Jumping to conclusions? With these knees?

Don't talk to me until I've turned the brightness up on my phone

Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.

Apathy arrived this morning with an intriguing point to make. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I care too much & that hurts

If you are in line to have your life ruined, please stay in line.

getting an emotional support pig just to squeal something

That's not even my dumbest post. It's this one.

The wedge is the most divisive of all salads.

In summer, I drive with my hands at 11 and 1 so the air conditioner vents point directly at my armpits.

"I'm still punk," I whisper as I meet Gertrude at the bingo hall.

when you stopped buying me cherry slushies, I knew it was over

actually fast food refers to the speed at which it passes through you

*slowly slides PBJ under seat*

gosh dang it to heck! it’s the

“Whiskey,” said the stranger, “and some breadcrumbs.” “Can I see your money?” asked the bartender. “Just put it on my bill,” came the gruff reply. “Hey, that’s Duck Holliday,” somebody whispered, a bit too loudly. From under a table came the faint sound of a hammer being cocked.

Later on, if you’re eating grapes and you drop one and it rolls under the refrigerator, you’ll remember this post and think to yourself, “Boy, that was really weird.”

An asthma inhaler that sounds like a kazoo every time you use it

Sorry i yelled bicycle face when you grew that handlebar moustache

she was rare like a goth gymnast

Between a rock and a hard place? Um, that sounds like two hard places.

Watching a person's Netflix recommendation and adjusting your feelings about them, but not in a good way.

You don't have to tell me twice because I don't listen either time.

A horror movie called Workplace Inertia

*seductively eats a potato chip off the floor of my car*

Husband: 8yo shouldn't play video games alone all day. He should have a friend over. *invites 8yo's friend over and they play video games* Husband: They're just playing video games. Me: I thought the problem was our kid playing video games alone? Problem solved.

scrolled IG for 20 mins and didn't buy anything, please clap

I’m such a private person that it’s none of my business what I’m up to.

You’re all invited to the grand opening of the stray cat forts I made. Serving tuna and milk.

How is it that fast food restaurant’s french fries will become cold and stale in three minutes, but a microwave Hot Pocket will stay hot for two weeks?

I want to knock over a liquor store, but Steve's using the getaway car to take his grandma to the podiatrist.

Floofs

When life seems on the attack, remember the moments that made you smile when you doubted you ever would again. And smile. You've got this.

a Granny Smith apple tried to make me happy today and nearly succeeded

Unfortunately bad minds think alike too

Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.

We are all part of the same compost heap.

Be nice to people. Remember: they may be dealing with something you care nothing about.

I bet people who actually know karate look awesome when they walk through a surprise spider web.

The best thing about ageing is remembering your mistakes in far less detail.

Sorry I can’t. I’m too busy eating a dozen hard-boiled eggs.

"Whoa, how are you still single?” Hang tight, you're about to witness the magic 😉

Whenever I start losing an argument, I drop down into the splits and punch them under the loincloth.

What's the latin for sweep the leg? I'm designing a new family crest.

Being an adult is about finding these 3 things: 1. Purpose 2. Meaning 3. Pain medicine

FACT: As an adult, you only need as much sleep as your dog will give you.

According to this app, I walked .16 miles this morning while looking for the phone in my pocket.

brian was starting to think that maybe his mom wasn’t coming back