Profile avatar
traciebreaux.bsky.social
Cajun, crawfish eater and ice road trucker. I'm still calling my posts tweets on here. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dzdcofxcag6e5hrz3moguzke/feed/aaacc7ag7jus6
188 posts 10,188 followers 678 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 48 Comments 1

my baby was having terrible issues with gas then the doctors told me he was just a helium balloon and made me wear a jacket

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I wonder if Charlie Brown would have even made a good grief counselor.

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

If your kids aren’t taking advantage of the playground, tell them it’s time to go home, you won’t see them again for at least an hour

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I used to be married to an active, vibrant, happy young woman who decided one day to hang a bird feeder in the back yard, and now I’m married to a glassy-eyed, unwashed maniac that stands at the kitchen window all day screaming at squirrels.

submitted 2 days ago • 310 comments

One day in the 11th grade, a friend and I were sitting in the cafeteria, desperately trying to recall the name of the creatures from Land of the Lost. A year later, in the middle of a class, he spun around, pointed at me, and said, “SLEESTAKS.” This was our Google in the 80s.

submitted 2 days ago • 76 comments

"Morning, Jim!" "Hey, Tom."

submitted 9 days ago • 284 comments

Jumping to conclusions? With these knees?

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

Don't talk to me until I've turned the brightness up on my phone

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.

submitted 17 days ago • 16 comments

Apathy arrived this morning with an intriguing point to make. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I care too much & that hurts

submitted 56 days ago • 10 comments

If you are in line to have your life ruined, please stay in line.

submitted 46 days ago • 5 comments

getting an emotional support pig just to squeal something

submitted 7 days ago • 4 comments

That's not even my dumbest post. It's this one.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

The wedge is the most divisive of all salads.

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

In summer, I drive with my hands at 11 and 1 so the air conditioner vents point directly at my armpits.

submitted 7 days ago • 31 comments

"I'm still punk," I whisper as I meet Gertrude at the bingo hall.

submitted 7 days ago • 4 comments

when you stopped buying me cherry slushies, I knew it was over

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

actually fast food refers to the speed at which it passes through you

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

*slowly slides PBJ under seat*

submitted 7 days ago • 281 comments

gosh dang it to heck! it’s the

submitted 7 days ago • 112 comments

“Whiskey,” said the stranger, “and some breadcrumbs.” “Can I see your money?” asked the bartender. “Just put it on my bill,” came the gruff reply. “Hey, that’s Duck Holliday,” somebody whispered, a bit too loudly. From under a table came the faint sound of a hammer being cocked.

submitted 7 days ago • 15 comments

Later on, if you’re eating grapes and you drop one and it rolls under the refrigerator, you’ll remember this post and think to yourself, “Boy, that was really weird.”

submitted 6 days ago • 16 comments

An asthma inhaler that sounds like a kazoo every time you use it

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

Sorry i yelled bicycle face when you grew that handlebar moustache

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

she was rare like a goth gymnast

submitted 7 days ago • 10 comments

Between a rock and a hard place? Um, that sounds like two hard places.

submitted 7 days ago • 9 comments

Watching a person's Netflix recommendation and adjusting your feelings about them, but not in a good way.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

You don't have to tell me twice because I don't listen either time.

submitted 7 days ago • 4 comments

A horror movie called Workplace Inertia

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

*seductively eats a potato chip off the floor of my car*

submitted 7 days ago • 5 comments

Husband: 8yo shouldn't play video games alone all day. He should have a friend over. *invites 8yo's friend over and they play video games* Husband: They're just playing video games. Me: I thought the problem was our kid playing video games alone? Problem solved.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

scrolled IG for 20 mins and didn't buy anything, please clap

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

I’m such a private person that it’s none of my business what I’m up to.

submitted 7 days ago • 10 comments

You’re all invited to the grand opening of the stray cat forts I made. Serving tuna and milk.

submitted 7 days ago • 16 comments

How is it that fast food restaurant’s french fries will become cold and stale in three minutes, but a microwave Hot Pocket will stay hot for two weeks?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I want to knock over a liquor store, but Steve's using the getaway car to take his grandma to the podiatrist.

submitted 9 days ago • 12 comments

Floofs

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

When life seems on the attack, remember the moments that made you smile when you doubted you ever would again. And smile. You've got this.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

a Granny Smith apple tried to make me happy today and nearly succeeded

submitted 8 days ago • 5 comments

Unfortunately bad minds think alike too

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

We are all part of the same compost heap.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Be nice to people. Remember: they may be dealing with something you care nothing about.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I bet people who actually know karate look awesome when they walk through a surprise spider web.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

The best thing about ageing is remembering your mistakes in far less detail.

submitted 10 days ago • 15 comments

Sorry I can’t. I’m too busy eating a dozen hard-boiled eggs.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

"Whoa, how are you still single?” Hang tight, you're about to witness the magic 😉

submitted 8 days ago • 14 comments