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unlimitedbasil.bsky.social
I eat oatmeal late at night and dislike multiples of five. she/her
170 posts 201 followers 332 following
Prolific Poster

please don't put the bugles on your fingers and pretend they are claws it scares me

once again I must tap my own sign

the more i’m online the more i realize i’m not actually online im just like kinda here doin jokey jokes and there are things happening all over the place that i don’t understand

I should be able to just charge my phone once and be done with it

If my neighbors catch a glimpse of me naked that’s their problem not mine

You're in her DMs. I'm a gigantic radioactive reptile who razed her hometown and accidentally killed her entire family while fighting Mothra. She hates us both; we're sort of the same.

Lassoing some fellas and bros for my dude ranch

I’m a fun and chill person to be friends with

If you’re a man and you’re from Long Island, you’re a bad person. I don’t make the rules.

There are a lot of things I can do but using cling wrap is not one of them

So single I don’t even check to see who’s viewed my Instagram stories

I cannot reasonably be expected to vacuum

They should invent a body that’s not miserable to exist in

You’re in her DMs. I have never even heard of her, because the world is vast and you can only meet so many people.

I’m a fun and chill person to be friends with

For every action there is an equal and opposite nap.

going to go be absorbed by the earth, anybody need anything?

It sucks how it’s physiologically impossible to drink a glass and a half of wine without wanting to make out with everyone around you

"I'm almost 30 and I'm scared I've already peaked" don't peak then. what do u mean ur going to stop trying to think harder& learn more& read deeper& dress better& fuck weirder& run faster& dance bigger& stun with ur charm and zeal. get real. u have another 50 years and yr not going to use them???

Taking PTO because I accidentally stuck a Q-tip too far into my ear

If your psychiatrist is 15 minutes late that means you legally get to stop having an anxiety disorder

imagine if spiders could breakdance

🌎🌍🌏WRISTY'S BUSINESS🌎🌍🌏 WHAT'S THAT? you skeet, we reskeet! HOW DOES THAT WORK?? it's easy! All you need is a link to a funny skeet. Guests: @damnitjanet.bsky.social @unfitz.bsky.social @professorkiosk.wtf @sonictyrant.bsky.social and some secret reskeeters too! more details below:

Hitting rock bottom still beats hitting scissors bottom

OUTSIDE of you, there are MILLIONS of wolves

I’m a fun and chill person to be friends with

AAHHHH

It occurs to me that we are the million monkeys on the million typewriters

Could a person without executive function do THIS??? - me, submitting my tax return an hour before midnight on April 15

Can’t tell whether my vitamin D deficiency has been cured or I just had a nice weekend

The most important part of a road trip is buying the most disgusting gas station snack imaginable

I love when someone asks me what I am doing this weekend because the answer is I am going to a monster truck rally

Heathen is a beautiful name for a baby girl

Life would be so easy if I only had a different brain and a different body and a different soul

I don’t understand how anyone can get work done on just their laptop. I need 7 monitors and a special ergonomic mouse just to check my email.

our bodies spent millions of years developing alarm systems to warn us of impending doom, and I'm just supposed to ignore all of them all day and focus on work

I have this disorder where whenever I hear people singing in harmony I’m absolutely overcome with the beauty of it all even if it’s literally just Kesha and T Pain singing “bitch, I just got a brand new car”

I’m a fun and chill person to be friends with

When I don’t text my friends back it’s because I’m busy or forgot, but when my friends don’t text me back it’s because they wish I would fall into a volcano

Bean bag chairs are just deboned couches

Accidentally blew too hard when extinguishing a candle and wax flew into my mouth. Can’t wait to see what else this week has in store for me!