Profile avatar
viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social Contributor: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
4,994 posts 39,968 followers 536 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 27 Comments 23

Imagine saying this without trying to be funny

submitted 22 hours ago • 6 comments

1m people allegedly in boston today. the scale of this is just crazy. i think record-breaking www.wcvb.com/article/more...

submitted 1 day ago • 260 comments

Veruca Salt ass president

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I sleep with a bat under my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation

submitted 172 days ago • 39 comments

I'm sorry your baby is crying right now. Have you tried taking it farther away from me?

submitted 159 days ago • 25 comments

There's nothing sadder than an adult with no friends who throws his own birthday party

submitted 1 day ago • 46 comments

When you realize Michael Scott is Elon Musk

submitted 154 days ago • 14 comments

I could get a lot more done if I had a sword

submitted 25 days ago • 72 comments

I have a recurring nightmare in which I post dumb jokes to distract myself from the terror of being alive

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

The hidden cameras in our hotel rooms are for your security and so we can watch people have sex.

submitted 7 days ago • 9 comments

Birds need gravity to swallow. Know what they don’t need? Your shit.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

The Angel of Death is the shittiest angel

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

Do you even know where you’re going to, bro? Do you even like the things that life is showing you? Do you know, bro?

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

Wrote about why there will never be another podcast quite like "WTF with Marc Maron." Gift link so everyone can read it!

submitted 5 days ago • 47 comments

Electric blankets. For when you want the comfort of warmth with the exciting possibility of death

submitted 4 days ago • 11 comments

Did it hurt? When you saw yourself in the front facing camera

submitted 4 days ago • 18 comments

submitted 5 days ago • 6 comments

It took more than 3,000,000,000 years of evolution to make a baboon’s ass look like that.

submitted 6 days ago • 17 comments

What is the city but the people?

submitted 8 days ago • 21 comments

At the ICE raid and subsequent community resistance in Paramount, California this morning, this skater kid ate dozens of munitions from Border Patrol agents, walked away slowly and flipped them off.

submitted 8 days ago • 1158 comments

thought I was all good when my doctor said i was healthy as a horse; turns out he was referring to one specific horse, 'Sick Matthew'

submitted 21 days ago • 3 comments

I’m in the anarchist bookstore and the staff is talking about their favorite political assassinations

submitted 16 days ago • 30 comments

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that drilling holes in human skulls allows bad spirits to escape

submitted 8 days ago • 46 comments

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that drilling holes in human skulls allows bad spirits to escape

submitted 8 days ago • 46 comments

Our badgers can perform “The Room Where It Happens” from Hamilton. They just choose not to.

submitted 96 days ago • 34 comments

I know posting "the girls are fighting" seems funny, but it's actually insensitive and shitty. My father died in a girl fight. He tried to break it up and the girls pulled him apart like freshly baked bread. He didn't even scream. One moment he was there, the next just a spray of dad viscera.

submitted 10 days ago • 245 comments

my doctor posing for a picture with me like a fish after weighing me

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments