vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

This joke of a horseman does not have the trust of his mount, and it’s really obvious why.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

American schools won’t teach you that the answer to “what if a turtle falls on its back?” is turtles are loyal comrades who will never let a comrade fall without helping them back to their feet.

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

I didn’t even feel it.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

cop: do you know why I pulled you over? me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me? cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open

submitted 13 hours ago • 82 comments

If you’re a male gay your male gaze is for male gays.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

Kills me that a lot of people still think he was being poetic or metaphorical when he was really just saying the light shining through the bottle looked like windows in a cathedral.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

We don’t have ALL the wine moms on our side.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The rain hides the flop sweat but accentuates his pig-like features.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Finally the police start fighting the real bad guys.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Honestly, everyone up there just looks bored to death. They forgot parades are boring.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

NYPD deploying a thousand foot soldiers to be used against anti-ICE/pro Palestine protesters. The protest has been peaceful, yet NYPD is itching for violence and arrests. All violence so far has been by cops with Eric Adams and Trump coordination. Legit police state now.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Don’t get him started on orgone energy.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’ve seen better attended high school track meets.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Why can’t we ever do these things in the winter? I am boiling.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Actually, David, I’m an adult and I can look at two different situations that really only have one thing in common and come to completely different moral judgements on both of them. Because, again, I am an adult with adult reasoning skills.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

So is Fortnite just unironically the shared IP universe from Ready Player One?

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Oh, you're doomscrolling current events? That's baby shit. I'm doomscrolling the events of 536. A volcano just erupted in Iceland. Snow just fell during the summer in China. Crops are failing. All of the crops are failing.

submitted 2 days ago • 117 comments

You know things are bad because my educational nature documentary consumption is through the roof.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Just got kicked in the balls by an ogre, but I deserved it because I said we might be better off without The Testicle Kicking Ogre.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Give Iran nukes. Give blah blah blah nukes. Give ME nukes. I am tired of a lot of people.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Oh yeah? Why?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Godsmack is God’s Mack, and it refers to the Lord’s big rig.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I’m the soldier on the secret moon base. They sent me up here in 1986 to test secret duplication technology stolen from the Soviets. They say if I make it to 2026 without anyone revealing my existence to the public they’ll ship up some beef. I’m really sick of eating me for dinner

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

Looking forward to stacking another constitutional crisis on top of the six others we have going when Trump just says no. This one will involve trained soldiers, which should be a ratings winner.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

The things are not generally good but on the upside the world has to end soon at this rate.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

I feel like we’re falling toward a singularity of pure worldwide disaster.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

oh so we should dissent peacefully?? through legitimate channels?? like by being elected to the united states senate and asking questions at a DHS press conference???

submitted 3 days ago • 18 comments

Oh, so there is a Nazi moonbase.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

KRISTI NOEM: I’m ordering all law enforcement to shoot liberals on sight. TOM HOMAN: We’re turning LA into a concentration camp for Hispanics. DONALD TRUMP: You know you can still get the supersize if you ask, but they don’t put it on the menu any more. With this executive order, they have to.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

On we’re just doing the whole fucking poem again, are we?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Pretty remarkable how little time it took to turn the federal government into one man’s grift machine.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments