Profile avatar
wakeupangry.bsky.social
old enough to no better bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaael2uu3anvw
4,984 posts 11,356 followers 11,758 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 41 Comments 8

đź‘€

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

tired: 'Big Balls' out WIRED: 'Big Balls' is back and now at the Social Security Administration, we have learned from a White House official. SCOOP:

submitted 7 hours ago • 223 comments

Nice

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

Years ago my wife and I were out with a bunch of friends and wound up in a local karaoke bar. After several libations to loosen my many inhibitions, my buddy and I attempted Hunger Strike and brought down the house. That experience could never be topped so my 1st karaoke performance was my last

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

If you say to me “that’s neither here nor there” I’m gonna ask you “well where the fuck is it then?” even if I have no fucking clue what we’re talking about

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Taking my turn at the helm of this wheel of fortune. I never asked for it. I stopped outside because I heard the card rattling of vowels and consonants just like in my bicycle spokes and nobody will ride with me, I lean over too far to spin the tires

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Therapist: When are you happiest? Me:

submitted 18 hours ago • 2 comments

I need a lift kit for my feelings.

submitted 15 hours ago • 12 comments

looking for the inflatable slide straight into the pit of hell, for efficiency’s sake

submitted 16 hours ago • 3 comments

selling sanctuary to wayward shitposters

submitted 8 hours ago • 1 comment

get in loser we’re gonna spray paint small dicks on all the lifted trucks in this cow town

submitted 13 hours ago • 14 comments

That’s nice. He’s 750% more likely to kill this woman he strangled

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

I know it's old people dinner time, but my Amex and I are celebrating being alive and awesome one week post teeny tiny little heart attack

submitted 6 hours ago • 16 comments

Those are ninja eyebrows, doy.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I'm now leaving my "why do I continue to live here" era (every Nov to April)

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Liquor store cashier said “Looks like you got everyone covered,” so I said “hold on let me grab one more bottle of vodka” and didn’t tell him I don’t plan on sharing.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

You plant a garden and tend it with all your love and care and then you have to leave it for a week and rely on sunshine and rain dancing to keep your babies alive I’m not cut out for farming it’s too heart wrenching

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I want a fake ID that says I'm 24, so I don't feel as stupid buying Mad Dog 20/20.

submitted 17 hours ago • 13 comments

I need coffee and the fall of the billionaire class

submitted 17 hours ago • 12 comments

The people I’ve met through social media have kept me alive and I love you for that.

submitted 1 day ago • 16 comments

Anyone got a nemesis they want smiting?

submitted 21 hours ago • 3 comments

My wife has decided that the only hard things allowed in the house these days are boiled eggs, sudoku puzzles, and the hats of the surprisingly high number of construction workers who come by whilst I’m at work to quote for a new patio. Surprising, because we live in a 3rd floor apartment.

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

Fishings good

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Today I saw a field of pink lady slippers, fed a wild red squirrel two pecans, watched a loon heckle a bald eagle and then beat it in a race, caught five bass and three crappies and two sunfish and had a cherry rum ice cream waffle cone. I love vacation!

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Is it acceptable to pre-drink before a graduation? Asking for a friend.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

My baby graduated high school today. That’s it, that’s the skeet.

submitted 1 day ago • 13 comments

Establish dominance by asking your work wife how her house husband is doing.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

READY FOR THE NEXT ICE AGE TO START NOW

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"cast iron" what am i a fucking wizard

submitted 1 day ago • 15 comments

Sunny loses its cheerful optimism when it's sitting alongside single digit temperatures.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

tangy trauma

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Glossy ibis -- purdy birb đź’™

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Rich boys don't go to war. They get bone spurs.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A hookup, but we just watch old episodes of Tom & Jerry

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Nothing screams 'freedom' quite like arresting people in wheelchairs protesting Medicaid cuts.

submitted 1 day ago • 312 comments

Dolphins don't have accidents everything they do is on Porpoise

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

what do people who talk while they're yawning want from us

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

I did my first Pilates class today. I now have another reason to hate life.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

A "break from reality" is probably less relaxing than it sounds

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

So like…can I just run away to Canada? Or there’s probably a line now huh?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments