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whywickers.bsky.social
UK/European, Too liberal, environmentalist, despairs daily, remain|rejoin đŸ‡ȘđŸ‡șTrying to keep the best of analogue in a digital world. 7 Bins Monday. đŸ‡ș🇩VPDFO
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Priti was on đŸ”„, Sir M, Rejecting Fanny’s gaslighting dodgy accounts from the Hooray Henrys at the Treasury & Marxists at the MoD Priti is a leader, out front leading from behind, inspiring the troops: “I don’t accept that” I’m booting-up the Corby: It’s going to be cream slacks in celebration
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SacrĂ© bleu! Sir M, Ă  la maison avec les Balls. Qui est Ă  la porte? Eh bien, c'est camarade Macron with his old slap & tickle, Brigitte. Conspiracy? I think not! The French have never forgiven us for the Jackal being an Englishman: “Phew, what a day” Well played Mitterrand, or is it Calthrop😉
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Our very own Ladies of the parish, Sir M, Could challenge those political heavyweights: Jill discusses the implications of the French Revolution on post Napoleonic bread production & the rise of the bap. Ldy B explains to Eamonn why the Revitalise was meant to be used on the balls of his feet
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Some Members were clearly having trouble ‘letting their hair down’
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We must remain optimistic, Sir M, Would John Lennon have written ‘Woman’ if he wasn’t forced to sing ‘You’re a Woman’ when in the BCR? Pliers & Chaka’s chance meeting with Angela Lansbury on a Caribbean mystery cruise benefitted everyone & as for Judas, we’ll anyhoo, Jesus was rather successful
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“All rather personal, Sir M,” I’ll grant you that my ‘friend’, Stan, from Pudsey was playing ‘Mr. Loverman’ rather early & loudly for a Sunday morning, but it made a refreshing change from Ldy B’s hunting horn & your cries of “Tally-Ho” FYI: The Lynx was a present! 😡
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Exactly, that would put a stop to all their Barking around
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IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? NO! It’s ‘TfL Bob’ Good Mornington Crescent to you Sir M, I’m on my Hampsteads and Neasdens thanking Bob for tackling Epping fare dodgers up the Arsenal The Mayor is Turnham Green with envy, although Rotherhithe than me, some of them were Wapping. Tooting Bec for now
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Queueing in Len’s for my wild boar & rosemary chipolatas & in comes Tom to thank Len for the black pudding He glanced at me & asked: “Who’s the cravatted nancy-boy?” Well! Sir M: “Insult me with your Fenella Fielding minge hair stuck round your chops!” I retorted later at home. Riff-raff
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“He might have been about to have sex for the first time in two years, he might have been angry and have lost all reason, but he wasn’t going to spill the Guinness” Oops Sir M, You caught me reading aloud 😬 Nad’s latest novella: ‘Lady Don’t Fall Backwards’ Chat later: It’s getting to a good part
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A good friend of mine, Charley, his Aunt was from Brazil, you know, where the nuts come from, & she implored: “A gentleman should not put his hands in his trouser pockets whilst in the proximity of ladies, thereby avoiding confusion & unnecessary upset” I fear much confusion & unnecessary upsetâ˜č
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I knew it! While we Tories are defeating Reform plc & the Lib-Dems are playing on the water slide, the Trots in No.10 are having Frau von der Lederhosen over for bratwurst & mash I won’t have it, Sir M! I will not handle a Euro sausage: “Rise-up in the name of Jim Hacker & the 🇬🇧 banger”
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Jimmy Corden aspirational desire for the poison chalice of London’s Mayor reminds me on your narrow defeat 15:1 of your municipal order [560/33a]: Gussage Parish to appoint you as directly elected Mayor - I think the £150k salary against an annual budget of £5k worried the old guard councillors
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Dare we dream, Sir M, That Curtis will put quill to bank balance and write ‘Love Actually II’
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✊and “Up the Arsenal”
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It is disgraceful Sir M, And just wait for the tidal wave of liberal excuses: ADHD PSI Dyslectic “Different” Arsenal supporter On the Spectre Pack his trunk! It’s off to Highland public school for 10 years - It didn’t do his grandfather any harm.
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I was wheeling my 7 bins out this morning when Sven says: “hallo soldier” dressed as Marlene Dietrich Final rehearsal of the WI’s reenactment of the Battle El-Alamein & Margie (Chair) asked Swen to sing Lili Marlene during the Big Push to add solemnity You couldn’t make this stuff up, Sir M ✌
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â€ȘGoodness me Sir M,‬ â€ȘHow could want such fawning sycophancy in the UK? ‬ â€ȘLook at them! someone is in danger of choking.
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ahhh Sir M, Memories of Maastricht Happy days.
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How exciting Sir M, I’m on the badge & T-shirt stall with Dean who’s operating the press & coming up with the abbreviations: WTF: ‘Wow! that’s fantastic’ FFS: ‘Fundraising Fun Saturday’ OMFG: ‘Oh My! Fundraising Gussage’ All T-shirts will also have a photo of Zander & the parish Poor Box 😀👍
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What a day to be British Sir M, Len offering double portions of his Danish pulled pork, Sven providing taster sessions of his Swedish jojoba executive relief in Ye Olde Cock, Jill’s Norwegian beau, Knut, plying her Parisian & olive baps; & all to Kurt’s rendition of Jerusalem on his Alphorn 🇬🇧
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I had a boss like Dick’s “I CAN’T HEAR TYPING” “THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S A FACTORY-YOU đŸ«â€
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It takes me back to my first visit to the village shop in February 1971 & Jill’s mother was having nothing to do with decimalisation “Baps are a groat each or 1/6d a half Dozen; I’d rather die than trust that desiccated money” Anyhoo, her funeral was a lovely affair.
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All too common, Sir M, all to common. I recall ‘many moons ago’ having a light lunch of crab & chips with Judith Chalmers in Benidorm, away from the hullaballoo & hoi polloi, when she goes off about Spanish fiestas, festivals, cuisine, architecture, beautiful people & language. Nightmare!
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Cliff Lazarenko, 1985, Jolees club Longton, World Championship semi-final against John Lowe “I should cocoa” No prancing, tattooed Mohican-haired Ally Pally glam festival with arrows It was medieval, raucous, beer-filled, fag-smoked, betting-fest with real men & women & the occasional darts match
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I know this is soooo naughty Sir M, I’m going to re-gift my copy back to Boris, so he’ll think I think it’s not about him đŸ€­đŸ€­đŸ€­ but some work of fiction.
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Martin’s statistical take on ‘bottom wiping over Xmas: “Taking the covariance of going & holding with no T-distribution comparison, it’s effective size vs frequency over fluctuations vs movements allowing for Friedman’s 2 way analysis of variance when Aunty comes” You’re right Sir M, DESTROYED!
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I splashed on ‘Somme’ late last night Sir M, In preparation of ‘going over the top’ but unbeknown to me my wife had squirted on ‘Trickle-down’ I’ll spare you the details, but it didn’t last very long.
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What a shame I’m too old for the Somme.
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Here’s some extremely rare fly on the wall documentary material of La Di Da Gunner Farage (fondly know as Graham) being assessed on his suitability for promotion & leadership. I apologise in advance for the film & sound quality but there was a war on. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pILW...
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The Norwegians have always sent an inadequate tree since 1966 after Kirk Douglas, Richard Harris & Michael Redgrave got all the big parts in The Heroes of Telemark.
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In my younger days Sir M, (I hadn’t discovered tweed) I was courted by the Gang of Four; Shirley said my conkers would swing more freely in the SDP We were having discussions over tea & fig rolls when I saw you bashing the Bishop of London over women priests; I knew I couldn’t leave. Don’t go!
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I see Sir M, the Procurator General of BS has deemed your ‘happy go lucky’ snap of 3 chums sharing a joke as indecorous bordering on lewd. This censorship of Gino’s Italian assets is right up there with Michelangelo’s David & Botticelli’s Venus.
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Oh what a shame Sir M, I thought it was Disney+ With a revamped Sound of Music: How the Vom Mogg family avoided the wants of the local proletariat with hearted numbers as: Idle-swines So Long, Farewell & Get Off My Tax Avoidance Doe, a Deer, a Female Deer BANG! One for the Pot My Fortnam things
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Update from inside Jill’s pantry Sir M, Greg has been dismissed Supposedly, he said he liked Jill because she was working-class & well beyond a certain age Greg will be making a statement later today after a crusty olive infused artisan cob served with a artichoke jus has been surgically removed
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The wonderful efficiency seeking cleaners of Portcullis House have placed the bin below the Reform Party’s name cards: A real time saver in the future.
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‘I could feel his hot breath upon my heaving portfolio’ “PM your enemies are at the gates of No10, what to do?” “Come Naddy to my underground pantry” ‘He took my trembling hand & guided me to his secret passage’ ‘On entry, 3 MPs were already naked’ Good God Sir M! This is only the 2nd page 😳
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The Shires are on parade Sir M, Great programme: Kemi will adorn her Barbour with ‘Farmers do it in their Wellies’ sticker Farage will make a statementđŸ€·â€â™‚ïž Edna will fire a rocket for farmers’ freedom of speech Ed Davey will drive a tractor in his trunks A Tory MP will be caught tad-poling
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Intervention Sir M! Popped into the shop & was greeted with: “Mon cheri ave an Ă©clair” Allo, Allo I thought & then noticed that Jill has added an ‘e’ to her tarts & Claire (they/them) was sporting a beret đŸ‘©â€đŸŽš This is not the Jill who gave directions to Dover when someone asked for a croissant😡