zentinl.bsky.social
somewhere between cold coffee
and used twist ties
is a paper life
in an automatic heart
20 posts
11 followers
10 following
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Ah so true. Mortality is great engine of creativity isn't it? Thank you!
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This piece is resonant and confounding all at once and in the best ways. I reverberated back and forth reading it.
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The sense of being born and ending, all within this confounding era we are living through is so potent here. "The future is a tasteless asphyxiant, corrosive as a communion wafer" just vibrates and growls!
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The remarkable duality of this in the "he" and "I" transformations, the sense of anticipation, and the transition in the writing itself captured in that last verse. Lovely.
And now I must seek out some David Attenborough!
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I love that this communicates grief so profound that it resets the very cosmology of the speaker. It's cataclysmic—at once cosmic and primordial. The last line is an emotional implosion!
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There is a great march to this that gives it the heft of a testimonial. It has taut power and I've come back to read it again and again today. I did not know of Mr. White, so the poem was a gift twice over for me.
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I was worried the line was a bit out of place, so I am pleased it worked for you. Thank you!
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Thank you, Karen. Just week two for me, but feeling welcome and warmed.🙏
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Thank you for sharing that, Jan. 🙏🙏
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Ah thank goodness a Solstice poem. Now I can be at peace today. We are under the same summer arc and the same vultures in their languid orbits. I loved this read!
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Thanks so much for taking a moment. Loved your take.
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Carolyn, this almost feels like it could be the germ of a short story. The best tales let us fill in so many of our own details so that each reading is singular and unto itself—and you've done that here. A great read!
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Thanks so much, Dorian. Appreciate the thoughtful take.
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Thank you so much for the warm welcome and kind words!
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Hi Dorian - I am always fascinated by structures like this. I've not done it, but will need to watch for my moment. In this case I think it's very effective to create a pace that we tumble through and cannot escape. It also supports a sort of stream of consciousness emotional desperation. Nice work!
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Love this. We have similar styles and so this resonated with me on multiple levels. This is sharp without excess and very provoking. Also, love the title. I often neglect the title, sticking with a working title or adding a word or two to identify it. n old English prof taught me better.
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Emily! I am newhere. Don't give up on this one! There is an extraordinary tale here. Stanza #1 seems to ask for closure in the last so I wonder about giving the antagonists identity by referring to them in person. "You burned..." etc, and then how that drove you to a new town? Adds intimacy, drama?
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Paul, the use of duality here is very powerful. All the more so for how you employ it sparingly. As a read—and re-read—I found myself looking for the next image you've created to span both themes. Really well crafted.