zerodynamic.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

eat an entire loaf of bread right now

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

extremely decent sex-haver

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

I'm like the respecter general of women

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

it'd be a lot cooler if I knew what the fuck you were talking about

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

sometimes it's good to drink a beer right now

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Lately I’ve been painting rocks and eating them

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

entering a burning building to eat all the snacks people left behind

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

there's nothing funny about "farts"

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

The girl with the Urkel tattoo

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

I can see your ANUS (we all can, it's clearly visible)

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

me: How's your day going? Is it "cool beans" or is it "awesome sauce"? my human pet who I keep chained in a pit beneath my house: just give me the hose, you dumb fuck

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hello officer here is my social media feed I think you'll see all of my posts are in order

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Nonsexual Intercourse, Sexual Outercourse, and the Taint Between

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

standing in line at the tax collection office, waiting to pay the ass tax

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hey birds, maybe shut the fuck up for a few goddamn seconds?

submitted 4 days ago • 28 comments

sorry for that thing I did/said, I'm a mental slave to my biological shell

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I could never carpool, my commute is when I masturbate

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I'm not the smartest guy in the room, heck I'm not even in the room, I'm outside the room

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

i can’t tonight man you know this is my crawlspace time

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

the experience of using a toilet you've never used before is like "wow this is all new for me, for us"

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I love to push a button and receive a pellet. A delicious treat for me? Might as well push it again. If it gives me a small electric shock once in a while, well, that's just the cost of doing business

submitted 5 days ago • 58 comments

Need a woman I can call supreme leader

submitted 4 days ago • 25 comments

they're doing experiments on you to find out what substances you're made of

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

sometimes my handler provides a pile of grasses and leaves for me to eat, while other times a collection of seeds and nuts is sprinkled around my enclosure which allows me to forage and serves as enrichment

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

the emperor has no clothes and there is caked shit all over his ass

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.

submitted 6 days ago • 27 comments

I'm making note of this in my permanent records

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

eat an entire loaf of bread right now

extremely decent sex-haver

I'm like the respecter general of women

it'd be a lot cooler if I knew what the fuck you were talking about

sometimes it's good to drink a beer right now

Lately I’ve been painting rocks and eating them

entering a burning building to eat all the snacks people left behind

there's nothing funny about "farts"

The girl with the Urkel tattoo

I can see your ANUS (we all can, it's clearly visible)

me: How's your day going? Is it "cool beans" or is it "awesome sauce"? my human pet who I keep chained in a pit beneath my house: just give me the hose, you dumb fuck

Hello officer here is my social media feed I think you'll see all of my posts are in order

Nonsexual Intercourse, Sexual Outercourse, and the Taint Between

standing in line at the tax collection office, waiting to pay the ass tax

Hey birds, maybe shut the fuck up for a few goddamn seconds?

sorry for that thing I did/said, I'm a mental slave to my biological shell

I could never carpool, my commute is when I masturbate

I'm not the smartest guy in the room, heck I'm not even in the room, I'm outside the room

i can’t tonight man you know this is my crawlspace time

the experience of using a toilet you've never used before is like "wow this is all new for me, for us"

I love to push a button and receive a pellet. A delicious treat for me? Might as well push it again. If it gives me a small electric shock once in a while, well, that's just the cost of doing business

Need a woman I can call supreme leader

they're doing experiments on you to find out what substances you're made of

sometimes my handler provides a pile of grasses and leaves for me to eat, while other times a collection of seeds and nuts is sprinkled around my enclosure which allows me to forage and serves as enrichment

the emperor has no clothes and there is caked shit all over his ass

When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.

I'm making note of this in my permanent records

imagining a better world (where everyone sweats out of a tube coming out of their forehead)

crawling around the attic naked (not in a weird way) looking for rats to eat

absolutely obliterated my no-shitting-your-pants policy

microwave should have random button