I’m trapped in the DVD menu of a Dark Shadows-esque sitcom I don’t want to watch. The only way to turn it off is to die. I try to crawl out of it, but a towering vampire follows me. “It doesn’t matter how you die,” he says as he prepares to kill me. “Only that you do.” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zPwpVJ-eIgg