As someone with some, uh, experience in such things, I can promise you with 100% certainty that this was printed on a desktop printer, corners cut by hand (w/ scissors rather than nail clippers, which give a more rounded edge), and then shoved into an OfficeMax lamination machine. Amazing. - ThreadSky

nysea.bsky.social • 14 days ago

As someone with some, uh, experience in such things, I can promise you with 100% certainty that this was printed on a desktop printer, corners cut by hand (w/ scissors rather than nail clippers, which give a more rounded edge), and then shoved into an OfficeMax lamination machine. Amazing.

Reposted from Eli Valley

Hawking this to oligarchs while tanking the global economy:

Comments

lucidartdvc.bsky.social•13 days ago

Haphazardly photoshoped eagle and statue of liberty. I "adore" this composition.🙄
It's official: they have no taste.

algoresmilkymams.bsky.social•13 days ago

lucidartdvc.bsky.social•13 days ago

Funnily enough, composition in this gif is much better than on that monstrosity😄

meghanclare.bsky.social•13 days ago

lol the corners were totally cut by hand my god I wouldnt post of pic of something so shitty for my tiny little side biz of selling seasonal flowers

alwayserked.bsky.social•13 days ago

OMG they don’t even have an X-acto knife and a ruler

browhocares.bsky.social•13 days ago

They need to be less concerned with DEI and more concerned with DPI

jdp238.bsky.social•13 days ago

Looks pretty easy to counterfeit these bad boys. Flood the market.

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

Like. Why would you print the number on it?

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

They told him it was a new denomination bill.

deadbarchetta.bsky.social•13 days ago

Holy shit you're right. Look at that left edge, it's not even close to straight.

rooker.bsky.social•13 days ago

Give me half an hour and a high res image of that and I can print out as many as anybody wants, with perfectly round edges, glossy finish, airtight lamination and even an embossed seal of authenticity.

timothystamm101.bsky.social•13 days ago

Man, we're already to right-click copying the "real NFT."

thatbakedguy.bsky.social•14 days ago

I legit put more effort in the “honey-do this” coupons I gave my wife for Xmas a couple years ago… the grift never ends

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

hahahhahha

crunchyfishtaco.bsky.social•14 days ago

I hate him so much

clayranck.bsky.social•14 days ago

Imagine becoming a White House staffer only to be tasked with doing arts & crafts to make grandpa happy.

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

Frankly you’d have gotten off lightly.

clayranck.bsky.social•14 days ago

better to do arts & crafts than send people to the gulag

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

Or fill the cups of Grandpa.

algoresmilkymams.bsky.social•13 days ago

or change him.

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

Staffer: Sir, I'm sorry. It won't let me buy the Adobe subscription. Apparently, there's now a $1 limit on our expense cards?

Trump: Your personal card doesn't have a $1 limit, now does it?

cameronboyes.bsky.social•13 days ago

That's the same process I used when printing off minis for dungeons and dragons

alderfish.bsky.social•14 days ago

I uh wow. Even my fake DC ID was more believable

npw1234567.bsky.social•14 days ago

My best friend in high school changed the 8 in 1988 to a 3 and it was more convincing than that

npw1234567.bsky.social•14 days ago

In retrospect it was hilarious that he was using his high school id to buy alcohol and no one batted an eye really

algoresmilkymams.bsky.social•13 days ago

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

Haha. My first foray into this particular industry was also... a fake high school ID. I just used it for Marlboro Lights rather than beer because the guy at 7/11 would take it, but no liquor store in NJ would. Then I realized I had a unique skill (and, importantly, a connection for the holograms)...

alderfish.bsky.social•14 days ago

I think mine was like a fake SC one or Florida or a Dakota. Something very easy at the time lol. I also used it to buy cigarettes.

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

LOL. The first place I ever bought beer w/ an ID was in Provincetown. Summer after freshman year. Olde English 800 40s's which we carried back home in a backpack. And which one of my buddies later vomited on the floor of the other buddy's parent's rental in Brewster.

thepines.bsky.social•14 days ago

Lol look at this shit

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

I paid five million dollars for this shit!

paralipsis.bsky.social•13 days ago

Give it six months and you'll be wiping your butt with 5 million dollar notes to save on toilet paper costs.

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

Amateur hour over here. I did more professional looking work at 15!

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

Look at the top left as well. They also hand cut with a scissor rather than using a paper cutter. The top edge has unprinted white area because they didn't get in close enough with the cut.

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

Does he have a fucking North Korean sun shining from behind his head?

Oh my god everything is so stupid.

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

lmao

bananapantz.bsky.social•14 days ago

There has to be a Simpsons or other satirical reference to someone behaving like this.

unclejayhawk.bsky.social•13 days ago

78 year old man got his pussy grabbing fingernails smoother than this fuckin card

uncommonpeople.bsky.social•13 days ago

But to be fair, I'm honestly impressed that there are no typos. The fact that it doesn't say dollars anywhere is bizarre but... What isn't in this nonsense?

hiptrigger.bsky.social•13 days ago

He said 2wks so just a mock.
Otherwise, they can say “it’s bespoke & crafted by hand” /s

This reminds me, in the tackiest way possible of Zimbabwe hyperinflation bank notes.

calmlikeabomb.bsky.social•13 days ago

I've made better for a weed festival....

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

100% chance that if you hold that thing up to a light bulb the light bleeds through. You need to get spray glue and sandwich tinfoil between the print out and a blank sheet of paper to prevent that light bleed. Just sayin'

nysea.bsky.social•14 days ago

You can buy a printer that prints on ID cards (like they use at Costco for memberships) for an order of magnitude less than I spent on a fancy printer when I was building this particular skillset 25yr ago. My fucking boater safety card came in the mail today and it looks more legit than this dogshit

lordkeynes42.bsky.social•14 days ago

I made student IDs in college. We used the same machine they make drivers licence with. The real trick is those machines are highly regulated.

hellsop.ninehells.com•13 days ago

OTOH, I bet that the Federal govt has at least a couple of them.

supersaiga.bsky.social•13 days ago

ok sorry for taking us on a tangent but.. if i go over the corners of my business cards with nail clippers, can I give them a premium look?

adrianshort.uk•13 days ago

You can buy a "corner punch" from all the usual places.

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