This is somewhat random, but I don't understand why difficulty maintaining relationships is considered a trait of autism but not ADHD. If anything, I think it's an equal challenge for people with ADHD, just for (mostly) different reasons....
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I can't remember if I have often read that long-term relationships are difficult for ADHD people or if I just know it because of the trail of wreckage behind me.....Both, it's both..I've definitely read it many places in Australian literature/discussions. Plus wreckage.
Is it difference in relation expectations when dealing with NT people. I think the double empathy theory explains it well. A lot of ND people have no issues with their ND friends.
ADHD here and can confirm. I'm about the shittiest friend you could have 🙃
I always assume I'm a burden and you don't want to hear from me, or that because I haven't contacted you in a while I've missed the window, and if we don't have firm plans I'll never see you but also I hate firm plans
When I was a kid autism was a much bigger problem for me socially as an adult I think both are equal but it’s sometimes hard to separate the two. As a kid I was completely socially clueless, everything had to be learned the hard way.
equal in my experience. AuDHD (late Dx) was the major source of our difficulties. Had I been diagnosed from the start, I reckon things would have gone much, much better.
I think it’s a trait for all people. People in general have difficulty maintaining relationships. As they say friendships come and go; 50% or more of marriages end in divorce, etc
I don't get this one at all I'm autistic and clingy, my partner is ADHD DID without much relationship experience but we've been together for 10 yrs it's been rocky but we're still trying
After years of trying to have friends I realized people seem to only want to be friends with you if there's something in it for them. I don't bother with friendship any more. 🤷♀️
While I'm autistic, my husband has ADHD. His talk therapist told him that she thinks some of the best pairings come from a relationship between one autistic partner and one ADHD partner.
I don't know if that's always true but 29 years married this August. So maybe?
Oh, no-it DEF is-Difficulty maintaining relationships is absolutely a hallmark of ADHD too. Object permanence, rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, memory/listening/focus issues, blindness to social cues… all of these have a hand in making our relationships hard to keep or non existent.😔
It is. Higher divorce rates, relationship failures, losing jobs, more traffic tickets etc are known to be consequences of ADHD in women.
In young girls, they have a higher rates of depression, feeling isolated, feeling different and having suicidal thoughts.
My spouse and I have been together 20 years and we are both AuADHD. lol. 🤷♀️ He, however, is very much out-of-sight out-of-mind. I’m way more social and outgoing.
ADHD is hard on relationships. It's hard to explain to our partners, friends and family how ADHD effects our lives. They get tired of us forgetting, losing stuff being late...
I thought aphantasia was not being able to picture things in their mind? Like if you say “picture an apple” and some people can actually see an apple in their mind’s eye. I can see the apple. I can think of the different types of apples grown nearby, I can recall the time I dropped the 🍎 🥧 filling
I have the aphantasia thing going on, but not quite impossible for me to "see" an image when I close my eyes because it happened exactly one time and I was utterly shocked by the experience (it was several years before I knew what aphantasia was and that other people actually do see with mind's eye)
When I dream, I dream in ideas and info but not much visual info playing in at all. I can tell you I dreamed there was a war going on locally and I was saving people by helping them hide from the invaders inside train cars at a particular train crossing I know irl...but can't tell you any visuals.
Relationships are hard until you find the people who get you. Especially if there are at least two neurotypical people in the group who understand the rest of us. And can keep track of those of us who tend to wander mentally, physically, or both.
Fascinating. There is still so much we don’t know about the brain and unfortunately we are not in a time where research will be moving forward in the US at least. But at least we have a way to connect with others who are neurodivergent in many ways. So we’re not alone in our own heads any more.
Autism reasons mainly being related to social & communication differences and ADHD reasons mainly being related to executive dysfunction (having a hard time staying in touch with people and following through on plans)
Nope, I have a terrible time keeping in touch with people. I also have a terrible memory for faces and names. Mostly ADHD with a few ASD traits thrown in.
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I always assume I'm a burden and you don't want to hear from me, or that because I haven't contacted you in a while I've missed the window, and if we don't have firm plans I'll never see you but also I hate firm plans
I don't know if that's always true but 29 years married this August. So maybe?
In young girls, they have a higher rates of depression, feeling isolated, feeling different and having suicidal thoughts.
I have both — and OCD, and aphantasia.
I would say ADHD, autism, and OCD, all represent challenges. Different challenges, but challenges all the same.
At least the aphantasia has never been a problem. I've never had anyone get mad at me for not experiencing dreaming.
Relationships are hard until you find the people who get you. Especially if there are at least two neurotypical people in the group who understand the rest of us. And can keep track of those of us who tend to wander mentally, physically, or both.
Since I have no ability to visualise, I do not experience dreams; sleep is sort of like almost-consciously floating in a black void.
But there is also plenty of overlap.
Just me?