Self regulation 🙃 Were not responsible for others reactions, but were certainly responsible for our own & we can certainly choose our own 😊 Most people react from a point of self projection anyway, reflecting on others their own biases, beliefs, traumas etc, so its rarely entirely about us 🙃
This is the same stupid logic that free speech absolutists always take-- essentially requires the belief that words are meaningless and you are responsible for what other people say to you but not what you say to others. A redoubt of bullies and (shudder) libertarians.
This is bullshit. Sure, there's a bit of wisdom in it, in that we should try not to let random insults bother us too much, but that's as far as it goes.
We are social animals. We rely on community to thrive. The opinions of those around us matter.
We need a nation wide strike and march day for Medicare for all. If you believe in this, stay home from work if possible and join a nation wide protest to demand Medicare for all and end the strangle hold the for profit insurance companies have on us.
I’ve seen and been the victim of too much violent hateful acts towards women and have seen what repeated verbal abuse does to a person after yrs to find that reading true.
I'm sorry you had to endure that trash. I will agree the 'striking' part shouldn't be there, but the idea that you control what effect others' words have on you is real to me.
It is in small doses. It’s harder when it becomes chronic and takes years to over come. It’s not the victims fault because they can’t control the input their brain is receiving no matter how much they try to tell themselves otherwise.
It's far more complex than this though. There are certainly cases where it's better off to just ignore insults and not let them hurt you.
But there's also cases of verbal abuse and of system harassment that need to be fought, not just ignored.
What a bunch of gaslighting shite. People do have the power to hurt. Words and actions have meaning and consequences and those that commit abuse should face accountability for their actions.
But SEVEN LEVELS OF MANAGEMENT CAN AND DID… I was an “anonymous “ whistleblower who suffered seven years of grief, lost my job and my mom in the same year and they got away with illegal activities and I’m on permanent disability b/c my brain blew a fuse…
I’ve read A LOT of dumb shit on the internet. Hell, the internet is mostly dumb shit. But this shit, might actually be the dumbest shit out of all the dumb shit that I’ve read.
This is pretty much what my MIL said to my wife when she was a kid. She'd emotionally abuse her, then tell her it was her choice to get upset about it. You don't get to decide what is abuse. It's up to others to decide not to abuse.
You didn't choose for the fight to be painless? Isn't that kind of on you? You should have just decided the other person's fists weren't painful, and walked away from the fight unscathed. That's how that works, right?
I most definitely tried for painless! Unfortunately a left cross got through and my jaw informed me that it hurt. And if memory serves, my jaw kept on insisting that it was painful and I needed to learn to dodge better for about two more days. (Never did get better at dodging tho😔)
Are you trying to tell me that your mindset doesn't magically change reality? You can't just decide that the left cross actually didn't hurt at all? Wow! It's like living in a physical reality isn't something we can ignore! Fr, sorry you got punched though. That sounds tough.
This is frankly dangerous nonsense that borders on victim blaming. There are many people who are emotionally scarred by cruel words. Children and vulnerable people especially can be badly traumatized by them
Marcus Aurelius wrote “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment”. But this doesn’t relate to emotional abuse.
This is seriously triggering to those of us who have survived any number of variations of abuse/S abuse/PTSD. I'm sure it is meant as run of the mill advice, but it is too simplistic&does not in any way take into account other factors,&sounds like victim blaming. I'd say best to remove in respect?
All these people fussing and fighting two seconds after reading this didn't really fucking read it, did they? Sure, words are meant to hurt, but it is 100% up to you if you let them
I'm sorry to say but our understanding of psychology has come a long way since Marcus Aurelius. I get that it makes you feel wise to cite the worldviews of these old philosophers, but he lived over 2000 years ago... there's a good reason so many modern people disagree.
this is wrong. abuse, both verbal and physical, alters brain chemistry. over time, it alters brain wiring itself. there’s no choice about the neurological damage trauma causes. signed, a neurodevelopmentalist
Comments
We are social animals. We rely on community to thrive. The opinions of those around us matter.
It's a level of maturity that too few achieve.
But there's also cases of verbal abuse and of system harassment that need to be fought, not just ignored.
Instead of admonishing victims not to cry, try telling abusers to stop.
The amount of intellectual masturbation you have to undertake to think this is actually something......
LOL. LMAO, actually!
Words have power to cause harm beyond the scope of an individual's emotional reaction to them.
LMAO what kinda logic is this?