Gym Installs Confusing New Equipment To Mess With Anyone Joining In January theonion.com/gym-installs... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 63 days ago

Gym Installs Confusing New Equipment To Mess With Anyone Joining In January
https://theonion.com/gym-installs-confusing-new-equipment-to-mess-with-anyone-joining-in-january/

Comments

jeffunktified.bsky.social•62 days ago

Not just any equipment, old automated production machines from the Pontiac factory

cryptidtrainer.bsky.social•62 days ago

IF ANYONE IS READING THESE COMMENTS AND GETTING DISCOURAGED ABOUT JOINING A GYM: I promise you, you belong there. Don't get discouraged. Yes, it'll be pretty packed the first 2 months of the year. Keep going. Even if you can only do 1-2xs a week for now, do it. You've got this!

afroburrito.bsky.social•61 days ago

Hell yeah!

jimcashel.bsky.social•63 days ago

Hilarious picture.

ryan-haft.com•63 days ago

I very much appreciate that you didn’t use AI to make this. Shout out to the artist.

deikitty.bsky.social•63 days ago

based on some of the wiring I assume its using some recycled PSTN equipment from the 70s or 80s. Wait will the dial tone now be human powered?

jtothe.bsky.social•63 days ago

It looks like something out of an old dance video from the 90s. Baffling and just why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pav2f4b-1ZE

deikitty.bsky.social•63 days ago

Oh god I remember these. Those hand crank flames. It was like a sub-genre in some music videos. I vaguely remember one where the contraption was hooked up to a generator running the MV itself. *remembers back to when there were music videos on MTV*

jtothe.bsky.social•63 days ago

Or dancing in the middle of a foundry that just makes sparks and flames all day with sweaty folks. It was always hilarious how they had this vague "We're hiding from the fun police" themes a lot of times.

Old music videos were a trip to see how they evolved but were so silly.

ericabel.bsky.social•63 days ago

Hmmm. I was sure you were talking about Gym Jordan, but…🙄

dduty.bsky.social•63 days ago

Reason 529 not join a gym. Equipment is way too complicated.

youngjason.bsky.social•63 days ago

Wait, this is true, though.

valuedmerchants.com•62 days ago

🤣

voidows.bsky.social•63 days ago

lol, i love the way you guys setup your point to make!

spiralkings.bsky.social•63 days ago

Looks like a medical monitor device.

lunav.bsky.social•62 days ago

That machine looks like it could also make me a crappy cup of coffee while I work out 😆

davidmarantz.bsky.social•63 days ago

Makes espresso and has an in-door ice dispenser

bangcomedy.bsky.social•62 days ago

lmao

calvinandhobbes69.bsky.social•62 days ago

More equipment for the millennials to sit on for ages and use their social media.

theyqueenprince.bsky.social•63 days ago

Now I am inspired to us Gen-AI to make nonsense gym equipment

valadin.bsky.social•62 days ago

That's... That is SUCH a good idea...

blopeep.bsky.social•63 days ago

dear friends, you and @bencollins.bsky.social need this.

NB: "Rockwell Automation" is the new "Allen Bradley", a Milwaukee icon.

filetofsoul312.bsky.social•63 days ago

Feel the burn...

hobocat.bsky.social•63 days ago

looks like something out of an AI image generator

potato-salesman.bsky.social•62 days ago

Is the onion using ai imagery now?

notdontrmp.bsky.social•63 days ago

Absolutely genius. New year, new you… and TOTALLY confused! Just like when they tried to install a “strategy” for America under MAGA. You want to get fit? Better hope you figure out that new machine before you end up more confused than a policy briefing on the border!

ethan82.bsky.social•63 days ago

The onion still going strong

sdvibe.bsky.social•62 days ago

...Then Begins a Fitness Challenge.

dearbird.bsky.social•62 days ago

Installed to help patrons along the pathway to broken resolutions. 🙂

liquidsound.bsky.social•62 days ago

How do I get the slushy machine to dispense my sugary drink??

silly-satan.bsky.social•63 days ago

That machine exercises all those hard to reach spots. I love it.

misst369.bsky.social•62 days ago

Home-gyms may be expensive, but they’re TOTALLY worth the investment (and more convenient, too)! ♥️

meat-meister.bsky.social•63 days ago

Thanks for the reminder that my quick 30 mins in and out is going to be 1 hour for a month again.

vickid5442.bsky.social•62 days ago

Lol

aoc-bluesky.bsky.social•63 days ago

@theonion.com at it again! Rolling on the floor laughing 🤣

topkat7.bsky.social•63 days ago

A clever strategy.
People will pay up and never return.

rawveggies.bsky.social•63 days ago

The month of January is always annoying at a gym because there are twice as many people, they take up all the parking spots, they are wasting time playing on their phones while "working out." And we know damn well they will give up in 3-4 weeks, because they always do.

michie45.bsky.social•62 days ago

Not me, I don't even drive through the parking lot. To much exercise for me. I lift squat bend, twist enough at my job. No I'm not a stripper, I'm a CNA.

erosewall.bsky.social•62 days ago

CNAs are the best people on earth. Thank you for all you do.

michie45.bsky.social•62 days ago

I'm going to show this to everyone I work with .

erosewall.bsky.social•57 days ago

Please do. I absolutely mean it. And I know you don’t get nearly enough appreciation.

michie45.bsky.social•62 days ago

Awwww Thank You

nuclei.com•63 days ago

And a confusing renewal agreement with an even more confusing cancellation policy.

zorotl.bsky.social•63 days ago

Everyone picking machines around the new thing to carefully observe whomever first uses it and how.

vickiels.bsky.social•63 days ago

OB/Gyn chair included. 😂

bangcomedy.bsky.social•62 days ago

it when they offer free exams you should worry :-)

vickiels.bsky.social•62 days ago

Puff puff pass. 😂😂😂😂

amardguru.bsky.social•62 days ago

Using this shit requires a dual major in Software and Mechanical Engineering. As a HS dropout, dumbbells are the only weight training equipment that I can handle.

pumpkinhead69.bsky.social•63 days ago

@priestesspandemos.bsky.social
This is gonna be us

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