U.N. Warns Trump May Be 7 Months Away From Acquiring Nuclear Weapons http://theonion.com/... - ThreadSky

sherworkstechnologies.com•33 days ago

This news is only 7 months too late.

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deadlight.bsky.social•33 days ago

Missing the joke, huh?

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sherworkstechnologies.com•33 days ago

Not even a little.

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deadlight.bsky.social•33 days ago

But the joke is that he's so dumb that he'll take 7 months to work out how find the US's nukes. How would that make this news late?

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sherworkstechnologies.com•33 days ago

The joke was so much funnier before you tried to explain it. So thank you for that.

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deadlight.bsky.social•32 days ago

So if you got the joke, why did you make a nonsensical statement about it.
It's hilarious when someone like you is obviously wrong about something, if cause it, but refuses to admit it. That's more weakness than just not getting the joke.

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ledlogic.bsky.social•33 days ago

The older this matrix simulation gets the more you appreciate it when it recycles to the 90s again.

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sultanofbowie.bsky.social•32 days ago

That's not funny

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pecosjane.bsky.social•33 days ago

He already has them. It may take him 7 months to figure out which one is the ‘Diet Coke’ button and which one is the ‘Launch Armageddon’ button.

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ministry-of-truth.bsky.social•33 days ago

I hope he decides to ride cowboy style on one dropped out of a bomber over the ocean. Dr. OrangeLove.

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neptunelover.bsky.social•33 days ago

Are you sure he'll make it - 7 months?

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thecassmith.bsky.social•33 days ago

Need to add that they’re not worried because his hands are too small to turn the key.

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iranphotos.bsky.social•33 days ago

They say he’s issued an executive order legalizing this.

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hoopnholler.bsky.social•33 days ago

Original from 2016 it was prophetic satire

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bryannthomas.bsky.social•33 days ago

This is what’s inside his nuclear football:

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chuck-onpiggott.bsky.social•33 days ago

Well that didn’t work out very well. 😔

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feliy92.bsky.social•33 days ago

I gotta be honest, I have a hard time believing this ISN'T satirical.

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thedovadude.bsky.social•32 days ago

It isn't, because he already has access to nukes

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stephanie0250.bsky.social•32 days ago

The article was from 2016, remember when he tried to start a nuclear war with NK and kept threatening to push the “little red button,” that seems mild compared to now

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mushroom-monarch.bsky.social•32 days ago

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karenfrombluesky.bsky.social•33 days ago

Times are tough when the onion starts to make sense

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frostybytes.bsky.social•33 days ago

Not even as a joke

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momof2vizslas.bsky.social•33 days ago

It's the Onion, but who can say

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barbdockweiler.bsky.social•32 days ago

When satire becomes reality.

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paganoutlaw.bsky.social•32 days ago

pretty sure he already has nuclear weapons.. have you smelled his farts.. total destruction of all who are near & far

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bran93.bsky.social•33 days ago

I thought the onion was supposed to be SATIRE. This is sounding more UN-SATIRE each passing day!!

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nale7.bsky.social•33 days ago

Psshh he controls a third world shithole how would they even use them if they somehow made one?

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crazycat7007.bsky.social•32 days ago

Please can Bluesocial be Drump free? I came her to get away from this sh*t

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rhondarhonda.bsky.social•32 days ago

Lol. And by lol, I mean 😭😭😭😭😭

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ari-dh.bsky.social•33 days ago

The Onion sounding too real these days 🤣😭

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wrrh887.bsky.social•33 days ago

🎤🎵We'll try to stay serene and calm
When Mar-A-Lardo gets the bomb
Who's next, who's next, who's next
WHO'S NEXT?!
***
(after Prof Tom Lehrer)

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rnwarrior.bsky.social•33 days ago

Satire is better when it's semi-believable.
It's 2 weeks away.
It's always 2 weeks away

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bryvegbry.bsky.social•33 days ago

OMG! I can't tell whats real anymore!

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cras7.bsky.social•33 days ago

Regime change

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dpkbooty.bsky.social•33 days ago

“…presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump may be just seven months away from acquiring nuclear weapons.” This is from 2016. He’s fully armed and ill prepared to handle that responsibility.

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dguiney.bsky.social•33 days ago

Hans Blix we need you more than ever.

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quiggler.bsky.social•32 days ago

Were all cooked guys, he definitely doesnt have access to thousands of US nukes rn

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wheezer-444.bsky.social•33 days ago

Ugh just can’t tell what is satire anymore 😫

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enemyofglados.com•33 days ago

Honestly ….being blown up by nuclear weapons sounds a whole lot better than watching Trump dismantle everything over the next 4 years.

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thegreatehumm.bsky.social•33 days ago

At this point a nuclear bomb or an asteroid would be nice. It reminds me of the South Park episode where Kyle unplugs the nations modem & plugged it back to reset the internet. Maybe we need that too.

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enemyofglados.com•33 days ago

Yes. That. 😂

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jamesmurphy68.bsky.social•33 days ago

Can we nuke him first?

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artisancris.bsky.social•33 days ago

Stop 😭 is this even satire anymore,,,, the timeline is so bad

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jbirdy82.bsky.social•33 days ago

Too true. Not funny.

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lewtwin.bsky.social•33 days ago

God I love this.

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unkl-ian.bsky.social•33 days ago

How can a convicted Felon, get security clearance ?

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olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•33 days ago

That's what's Putin proposed?

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harpermac.bsky.social•33 days ago

A bald man wearing a hair piece with access to missiles refuses to admit he is, in fact, Lex Luthor.

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phasmatodean.bsky.social•33 days ago

THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE

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olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•33 days ago

IKR!!!!!

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mikeatx.bsky.social•32 days ago

Sadly,we are a sole authority country. Trump has authority to launch a nuclear strike at any time.

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ilovenerds.bsky.social•33 days ago

Can you guys do silly funny fake articles again instead of things that could very well be real headlines

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zeke235.bsky.social•33 days ago

It's not their fault. It didn't used to be this hard.

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slyokami.bsky.social•33 days ago

Its hard to be satirical now adays when reality keeps pounding down the bar like JD Vance pounds his couch cushions.

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silvered.bsky.social•32 days ago

That is the whole point of satire, to show the contrast or in this case the similarities of reality and absurdity.

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majodaga.bsky.social•33 days ago

If only any country had a capability to precision strike.

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s-stapelberg.bsky.social•32 days ago

I have to admit this didn't seem satirical to me. In fact, given how bizarre the US political system & its legal quirks can be (e.g. shielding presidents from accountability), I wouldn't even be surprised if Proj25 lawyers had found tricks to circumvent a constitutional law w/o the SCOTUS objecting.

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sianofthedead.bsky.social•33 days ago

I love how The Onion kind of stayed away from trump the first go round but is going after him with a vengeance now. He deserves all the mockery.

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almondavenue.bsky.social•33 days ago

Use current photos please.

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cookieboy-2005.bsky.social•32 days ago

That long?

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k1000ov.bsky.social•33 days ago

Why 7 months

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renesugar.bsky.social•33 days ago

Xi Jinping seizes the West's means of AI chip production; Trump retaliates by seizing the means of Onion Dip production.

https://bsky.app/profile/renesugar.bsky.social/post/3lgebqakc322m

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geenerneener.bsky.social•32 days ago

Wait I thought this was real 😭

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bluegigi24.bsky.social•33 days ago

Existence is truly becoming a retro Underdog cartoon

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mnectar.bsky.social•33 days ago

Why does this feel more like actual news than satire🤔🫣

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skmax.bsky.social•33 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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jim391.bsky.social•33 days ago

But what I want to know (hopefully) Is Denmark 🇩🇰 still buying the United States 🇺🇸

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coldsassy.bsky.social•33 days ago

qanittumi qinnuigissavakkit aamma tikilluaqqusaagut

snart tak og velkommen

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jynxtheservicemutt.bsky.social•32 days ago

Can we crowdfund it or something?

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davethingy.bsky.social•33 days ago

Well, if they do m, they won’t have to pay much.

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krustycunts.bsky.social•33 days ago

It's satire, right?
......
......

RIGHT?!

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davethingy.bsky.social•33 days ago

Not if the rest of the armed forces and entire govt keep hiding them from him. But in the meantime I think they’ve given him a Nokia 3310 and told him to dial 911 to launch.

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catland33.bsky.social•33 days ago

Don't remind me Onion, pleaseeeeee 😭😭

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robdotcole.bsky.social•33 days ago

What, he gonna invade Iran and take over thier weapons program?

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mikeshands.bsky.social•32 days ago

He may also be only 7 years away from acquiring any sense of empathy 👍

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thinker-belle.bsky.social•33 days ago

Is that how long it takes Musk to crack the code that Biden forgot to tell them ?

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kritzultima.bsky.social•32 days ago

The US military fooled Mr. Trump last time with a phony "football" supposedly containing the nuclear codes.

Mr. Trump sure hasn't gotten any smarter, so maybe the same thing will work this time.

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