I thought it would be cathartic to start a list of bad advice for writing grants. I'll start. Make sure to cram as much information in your grant as possible. The more you can say, the better your score. - ThreadSky

jpeelle.bsky.social • 18 days ago

I thought it would be cathartic to start a list of bad advice for writing grants. I'll start.

Make sure to cram as much information in your grant as possible. The more you can say, the better your score.

Comments

resdevbcch.bsky.social•17 days ago

Ignore formatting and content guidelines.

Use very long-winded sentences and page-long paragraphs.

Bold & italics & underline! If one form of emphasis is good, more is better!!

Have circular hypotheses.

jeremyrmanning.bsky.social•18 days ago

Moving forward, submit your best ideas to federal funding agencies-- they are sure to have the most money to support innovative work! 😭

jpeelle.bsky.social•18 days ago

sarangnemo.bsky.social•18 days ago

Never look up the assessment guidelines for a grant. A good proposal is a good proposal, dammit, no matter who reads it or what criteria they have.

icevislab.bsky.social•18 days ago

Be in the U.S.

(Sorry.)

tmcentanni.bsky.social•18 days ago

Make sure to propose all the work you want to do in the next ten years in one grant, to make sure it all gets funded.

jpeelle.bsky.social•18 days ago

Use acronyms liberally. Every single character of space you save is to your benefit, and reviewers have no trouble remembering your VSA* LIG**

* very special acronym

** later in the grant

michaelerard.bsky.social•18 days ago

Have as many research objectives as possible, and do not mention them in any work package.

michaelerard.bsky.social•18 days ago

Describe the background of your problem at length, and delay describing what your project is about and what you will actually do for as long as possible.

rosannaolsen.bsky.social•18 days ago

CHTST*

*came here to say this

jpeelle.bsky.social•18 days ago

To save space, make figures as small as possible. If reviewers really want to see your axes labels they can just zoom in.

colinhawco.bsky.social•18 days ago

This was mine!!!! You can fit 15 figures of they are all like an inch across! Don't size 2 it totally enough for a reviewer who's eyes work like they should!!!

themindwanders.bsky.social•18 days ago

Hah. I would probably have suggested the opposite (i.e. work out an argument that is sufficiently simple so that you don't need that many figures). I guess there maybe many ways to do write grants.

jpeelle.bsky.social•18 days ago

Don't bother customizing your biosketch, reviewers never read those things.

stevenmweisberg.bsky.social•18 days ago

Getting a grant is not about how important and impactful the work is. It’s about how smart you can appear.

timmytimmytimmytim.bsky.social•18 days ago

Actually having a grant evaluated is bad feedback for this habit. If they don't like it, they scorch you on the details!

jamesmfinley.bsky.social•17 days ago

Underline, bold, and italicize sporadically to help the reviewers understand what's most important.

paulgribble.bsky.social•17 days ago

👆this one drives me craaaazy I can’t even tell you how much

northernthrux.bsky.social•17 days ago

“Give them something to cut”. The most BS advice ever.

jpeelle.bsky.social•17 days ago

Ideally include all combinations because it will be obvious to reviewers ho me italicized, underlined, and underlined italics differ in emphasis

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