We desperately need more men in caregiving roles, as @jessgrose.bsky.social argues. And I'd add--to get there, we have to start early, encouraging boys to fill caregiving roles that too often default to girls. Take, for example, a story from my kids' school... 1/ 🧵 www.nytimes.com/2024/12/11/o... - ThreadSky

jessicacalarco.bsky.social • 67 days ago

We desperately need more men in caregiving roles, as @jessgrose.bsky.social argues. And I'd add--to get there, we have to start early, encouraging boys to fill caregiving roles that too often default to girls. Take, for example, a story from my kids' school... 1/ 🧵

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/11/opinion/male-nurses-equality.html

Comments

profmarylewis.bsky.social•67 days ago

My cousin’s son, who is a tall, 230lb guy, is now a NICU nurse and it’s the most amazing thing ever.

rfc19129.bsky.social•67 days ago

we absolutely don’t talk enough about men being more like women. So much attention on women being in historically male spaces but not the reverse. We will never have true equality without men in “female” roles and ending stigma associated with that happening. Parents - encourage your sons to babysit

ogorangeowl.bsky.social•62 days ago

I think teaching, like swim lessons, in high school, is another good route. My boys and their peers adored having teachers and coaches who were young men. The challenge then is encouraging them to pursue teaching or other nurturing roles.

twinreedsmusic.com•67 days ago

A few of my musical colleagues, several of them men, have either gone into nursing full time or balance a nursing career with their orchestral work! (I have no idea how they manage it!)

waldo42.bsky.social•67 days ago

A core issue is that all men/boys are assumed to be worse than bears.

Boys could get into babysitting, but they never get hired, esp by parents of young girls.

ogorangeowl.bsky.social•62 days ago

I'm gonna say "not all boys." I could discern which of our neighbor boys would make great babysitters and which ones I wouldn't trust in that role.

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

The stereotypes do make it challenging. But there are ways to signal trustworthiness: take a babysitting class; get certified in CPR; work as a parents' helper or camp counselor before babysitting solo; offer references. Girls who babysit do these things (I did). That's part of how they earn trust.

eriverarn.bsky.social•67 days ago

Yes! My 9yo son is so good with little kids and I keep encouraging him to think about being a babysitter in a few years. There's also a glass escalator scenario for men in these roles - advancement can be easier because people want to encourage them/defer to them (e.g., men in nursing)

poliscimonica.bsky.social•67 days ago

Proud of my 10 year old for taking a babysitting class, doing mother's helper work, and giving his 13 year old brother with disabilities baths and helping with his care. Now, he does see some economic potential there & he did feel awk about being the only boy in the babysitting class, but...

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

That's awesome! Good for him.

chrismommsen.bsky.social•67 days ago

Unfortunately the trend seems to be the opposite where there are more women doctors, pharmacists and lawyers but also fewer men who are elementary school teachers and psychologists

mrpepper.bsky.social•62 days ago

@jessicacalarco.bsky.social so agree with you about this! I talked about it in this Vox interview

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•62 days ago

Thanks for sharing this!

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

At my kids' school, the 5th graders get to be on "safety patrol," and they get jobs at school. According to my daughter, nearly all the kids assigned to help the kindergarteners (playing with them at recess, helping with coats at dismissal) are girls, while nearly all the bus monitors are boys. 2/

nickdemark.bsky.social•67 days ago

At my 4yo’s preschool every morning a kid asks a “question of the day” that the whole class gets to answer. My daughter’s question was “do you like babies?”. The responses were almost exactly split by gender.

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

Well, that's both depressing and highly relevant to our research proposal...

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

Now, some of this may be that the kids expressed preferences for different jobs. But those preferences likely reflect the fact that, by the time they're 10 and 11, kids have already spent a decade being socialized into gender roles. How many of the boys, for ex, do you think were given babydolls? 3/

kkusiak.bsky.social•67 days ago

I’m giving a soft doll to my 4 month old grandchild. (My daughter, their mom, wasn’t too pleased with small dark blue overalls I gave them.) And, yes, I observed young boys today in aftercare playing ball sports in the gym. I wondered where the girls in the program were? Homework? Dance? Crafts?

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

As I explain in Holding It Together, it's who gets babydolls and toy vacuums, who gets asked to babysit siblings or clean up after themselves. And research shows that early socialization into (or away from) caregiving has a lasting impact on adult roles. 4/
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/697130/holding-it-together-by-jessica-calarco/

lizzieohreally.bsky.social•67 days ago

I have a four-year-old boy and think about this ALL the time.

mwhitler.bsky.social•67 days ago

My now 10 year old had both a baby doll and floor sweeper for these very reasons. (You can remove a segment from the handle to make this shorter which is perfect for preschoolers.)

https://a.co/d/3SwAwiv

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

Same with my now 7-year-old, who was particularly fond of vacuuming in heels ❤️

alwaysbeenwoke.bsky.social•67 days ago

I also love to see more men working in public libraries! I'm a librarian and we have several men working as aides as they complete their MLS degrees. Representation matters!

cookston.bsky.social•67 days ago

Anybody able to gift this article? I dumped my subscription after the election and would like to learn more.

jessicacalarco.bsky.social•67 days ago

Here's a gift link:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/11/opinion/male-nurses-equality.html?unlocked_article_code=1.iU4.BkyD.9kEwSJL9oRs4&smid=url-share

cookston.bsky.social•67 days ago

Thank you for sharing.

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