yelling at people to not give into despair is not actually an effective strategy imo. let people feel their feelings and when they’re ready they’ll jump in. generally we need like, 500% less admonishing of people who are living through hell.
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People are actually extremely sympathetic to relative strangers wailing in relative public online compared to the reaction you'll get if you have a breakdown in a Starbucks or on the actual street
Honestly I think the idea that d
Pessimism=inaction not true, or maybe only true for some people. It is absolutely possible to act out of bad news, and many people do their best work when they don't have to make noises about hope and positive thinking
Yelling is not effective to relay anything except fear. People stop listening when you yell, to think instead of personal safety, how to make it stop, how to leave etc. but they are certainly no longer listening to you.
Agreed. After the election, I needed time to just not pay attention to politics because it was too awful. Now I've come back. I really don't think it hurt anything that I checked out for a few months. I know a lot of people still checked out, but I'm sure they'll be back before the midterms.
thank you! i also think we should pause before jumping to criticize any fellow liberal about how they’re coping right now. unless someone is a danger to themselves or others, our having grace for their less graceful moments isn’t going to damage the resistance.
but the flipside is that those in despair should also not be yelling at others to despair and should feel those feelings in a healthy manner, instead of telling other people to give up hope and stop trying, stop posting, stop being visible, which I have encountered as well
He was just inaugurated. I had to take a couple days to despair before I could be very productive. Everyone is going to have different capacities for it
I accept that people need time to process and encourage it. My issue is when they try to push those feelings onto everyone around them and try to discourage others.
This right here. And even if they are not our friends personally, this is being done in our name, all if us. Ppl might look into things more tho bc when the president ordered this it was said he was able to do so bc he declared an invasion at the border. If it allows for out of the ordinary
Decisions, maybe its akin to marshal law or some form of that? Ppl still need to find their courage but know what they are looking at clear eyed so ppl can be prepared and decide accordingly. Said on the news last night they are targetting criminals. Is that the case? Are ppl hearing otherwise
Also maybe we don't need to lecture people about the need to not kvetch and instead take action on platforms designed for kvetching, with limited utility for taking action
Also irritated at people who chastise people for "retreating in the face of adversity". Bitch, it's called self caring. Things are scary and overwhelming for a lot of people. Take a break for your mental health. That's all you can do. Form action behind thoughts and words.
Thanks so much! You re so right. As someone who works with people therapeutically on multiple levels--shame, embarrassment and fear have long been disproven as effective motivators and definitely sabotage lasting change.
The irony of saying this when there was a time when a person's feelings could literally get someone murdered in America. People don't need feelings, people need direction that leads to intervention. This liberal shit where we feel sorry for ourselves and then proceed to do nothing has to stop.
Yes.. telling someone how to feel doesn't help, but assuming they'll get through it and "jump in" after is naive.
I hope everyone starts sharing how they're helping, how they're resisting, how they're growing community - give us something to work toward when we're not feeling on top of things.
yeah, and, sure, there are some practical steps ordinary people can take to Do Something, but calling Tim Kaine’s office to complain and donating $50 to the ACLU only does so much
i just don’t think you should be telling people how to feel right now because this is all fucking crazy and there isn’t one right way to be. i would say most people (who are furious about the presidential assault on our government and society) are doing their best. show grace and mind your business.
I could not agree with you more. This mess is for the GOP to clean up for now. When FOTUS and his proponents of stupidity with confidence implodes, and they, that is the time to show them the door, be it just the exit door or prison door.
I do NOT want people to pop by every thread and say everything is doomed you should all give up, how dare you even consider developing some sort of strategy.
I would very much like those people to keep it to their diary or their own Page
There are stages ppl will likely go through, but i think once they go thru it is where ppl find what they are made of. Also prob not the time for young ppl to think they must re-invent the wheel. There are still excellent resources available online & ppl might utilize them while they still can.
I'm noticing a lot of it coming from people in a place of privilege and not poc who will be the first to bear the brunt of these policies. There is a balance but some of us have to stay ALERT for the sake of our safety and future.
Agreed, but at the same time, I had some dude on here telling me I *should* be despairing and I *should* be feeling hopeless, and that I was "naive" for not choosing to despair.
That person was no friend of ours. We still have a voice. We will use that voice against 47 and his hateful policies. We will support @aclu.org They beat 45 on family separation, immigrants' rights and made the Muslim ban less horrendous. We will support @indivisible.org They helped save the ACA
Agreed!!! I just listened to Stephanie Ruhle do this on a podcast. People need to stop policing other people's thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It may be part of the reason why we find ourselves here. Admonishing versus persuading?
There's no single way decent folks rightly horrified at all this should cope. Everyone has different strengths, vulnerabilities, personal circumstances, toolkits. I can't tune out my own despair but I can cope AROUND it. Different days, different coping tools...but I'm still here.
Everyone needs to be given space to cope in their own way. This dog and this waterfall are mine. I'm glad she doesn't know how dark things are these days (notwithstanding her concerned look.)
People want something they can do that is practical.
For example my state legislature is considering something that will protect libraries.
It was not much but it is a start.
I want to be inspired, I want to know about all sorts of options for the times when I have the strength to join in.
I want everyone to say what they're doing to help, every time they do even a very small thing, because maybe someone else can match that effort and do that small, helpful thing.
Ditto for yelling at people with the temerity to not be angry or despairing every waking moment that injustice exists. Having things that make life worth fighting for is a strength, not a moral failing.
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Pessimism=inaction not true, or maybe only true for some people. It is absolutely possible to act out of bad news, and many people do their best work when they don't have to make noises about hope and positive thinking
but the flipside is that those in despair should also not be yelling at others to despair and should feel those feelings in a healthy manner, instead of telling other people to give up hope and stop trying, stop posting, stop being visible, which I have encountered as well
I hope everyone starts sharing how they're helping, how they're resisting, how they're growing community - give us something to work toward when we're not feeling on top of things.
https://bsky.app/profile/sababausa.bsky.social/post/3lcso3umbds2s
I do NOT want people to pop by every thread and say everything is doomed you should all give up, how dare you even consider developing some sort of strategy.
I would very much like those people to keep it to their diary or their own Page
Ymmv
Cause I think if they go all in highlighting the fact that ICE is at schools to rip children out of would start to create a larger ground swell
As a treat.
For example my state legislature is considering something that will protect libraries.
It was not much but it is a start.
The “whip” isn’t working.
May be time for a “carrot”. 🤷🏻♀️
I want everyone to say what they're doing to help, every time they do even a very small thing, because maybe someone else can match that effort and do that small, helpful thing.
Or, better yet, ask THEM what they need from US.