i feel like an unreliable narrator sometimes. I need to look at things and think about certain things in both swings so I can make sure that I feel the same no matter where I'm at. "I feel this way now. I need to see how I feel about this when I'm not hypomanic" etc
This is so true. I remember getting on meds and fearing that I wouldn’t be “me” anymore without mania. People also act like there is a “real” me beneath the mania and depression, like I’m ruining their imaginary, neurotypical version of me by having bipolar disorder.
this is part of the reason bipolar is really often misdiagnosed and underreported too! people only seek help during depressive episodes, believing that the mania is their normal and treating it as a baseline
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This is a huge pain I suffer from.
We all get through it one day at a time. I believe in you!