I get deeply confused/annoyed when people are all “oh you must talk to (person) all the time? to maintain your (close)relationship” and I’m all..no? Why would I…that’s not…????
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
I don't know if this is quite accurate or if so it's not strictly an ADHD thing. I don't have ADHD but my friendships won't degrade over time. Not quite.
I'm happiest when I can see my friends all the time. I want to know what's going on in their day. I don't always know what to say if we haven't talked in a while but I think about people and I miss them.
I worry that they stopped thinking about me, or worse, that they assumed I stopped caring about them. Sometimes I'll overcome this and I'll say something and I'll see that little thread that connects me to you reemerge and maybe if I pull on it we'll draw closer again.
But other times I'm not quite strong enough to overcome my guilt that I let so many days go by and I'll never know about them because I wasn't there when you had them and they'll never happen again.
So maybe, over time we both grow and the more life we have that we're not sharing, the less a part of your life I feel like I am.
But I'll never stop caring about you and no matter how much time has passed I'll never stop wanting that little thread to pull us closer together again.
Honestly, it’s one of the (many) things I’ve valued about our friendship through the decades - we can pick up where we left off years ago, and if I ever said we need to drive to the Pine Barrens, I know there would be no questions
Yes! You are one of those people who could call me at 3AM out of the blue after two years and be like "I need someone to go pick up five bags of quicklime" and I'd just be like "what's the address I'm delivering it to" ❤️
for years before my long distance partner and I got together, we'd run into each other at conferences and our conversation would pick up from the last time we'd run into one another, however long ago that was
I think I remember @rahaeli.bsky.social saying at some point that this is a neurospicy trait? We have literally gone years without seeing each other and then just pick right back up where we left off, and it’s so /nice/ to have friends that don’t feel neglected because out of sight = out of mind
I'm diagnosed audhd, long distance partner is diagnosed autistic (or whatever cursed thing they were diagnosing german kids with in the 80s) and definitely undiagnosed add
live-in gf is long-time diagnosed autistic, I got her add meds at my gp's as of last week
you know how close @jmtorres.bsky.social and I are! I describe her as my queerplatonic partner to people who will parse what that means! we generally try to get out to see each other once a month or so! while sometimes we will talk every day, sometimes we go weeks without talking.
I'm not sure I would hide it permanently--but then they'd only ask for a temporary hiding spot.
But if I could be useful I would pack up and be there in a day or so. They have escaped to me once or twice. (Not having my own safe car would slow this now.)
BTW--Do we need to indicate @ Bluesky when we're joking?
You can actually get shut down and your account deactivated at F*cebook for the old joke about "If I tell you, then I have to....." A friend who is a professional movie reviewer has been quarantined more than once by AI for that!
I once made a joke about how forgetting to get coffee in the morning made me both very slow and very stabby, but at least being very slow gave my colleagues time to run away, and I was banned for a week for threatening words.
I realize this indicates that I always kept enough money to cover several months rent & bills, but I would LEAVE a place where anyone meant this literally.
So not my place to work.
Probably why the ADHD folk are "this is a joke!" but a few people are "ARGH" and AI is. . .we don't understand. . .
We used to joke about how we didn't actually do anything, but were thinking "stabbity-stabbity-stabbty." Finger in cheese photo, for example.
(People who "prefer knives" even gave pause to friends with advanced martial arts training. So not being able to sift tone is a huge thing, I realize.) :(
The Facebook AI bots once gave me a 24 hour ban for saying "punch it up" - which was a comment in a discussion about color saturation in marketing, and had nothing to do with violence. This is part of why AI is so bad.
Holy shit did this just explain some lost friendships. I have no time sense in friendship and they do. It could have been a day or a decade, for me, same same. For them, we can only be close if we're constantly in contact (?) which makes no sense. Why? How?
Comments
(I’m not officially diagnosed adhd, but)
But I'll never stop caring about you and no matter how much time has passed I'll never stop wanting that little thread to pull us closer together again.
now that we're together it's still the same way
live-in gf is long-time diagnosed autistic, I got her add meds at my gp's as of last week
But if I could be useful I would pack up and be there in a day or so. They have escaped to me once or twice. (Not having my own safe car would slow this now.)
ADHD/folk who "get it" time.
You can actually get shut down and your account deactivated at F*cebook for the old joke about "If I tell you, then I have to....." A friend who is a professional movie reviewer has been quarantined more than once by AI for that!
😶
So not my place to work.
Probably why the ADHD folk are "this is a joke!" but a few people are "ARGH" and AI is. . .we don't understand. . .
(People who "prefer knives" even gave pause to friends with advanced martial arts training. So not being able to sift tone is a huge thing, I realize.) :(
They may be skimming for certain words, but T&S has a job and if they do it well, we feel safe enough to stay. ?