When someone becomes disabled or chronically ill, people will twist themselves into knots finding a way to blame them. They need to find fault so they don’t have to face the randomness of life. The truth is, anyone can become disabled at any time. Good health is not a guarantee. - ThreadSky

broadwaybabyto.bsky.social • 55 days ago

When someone becomes disabled or chronically ill, people will twist themselves into knots finding a way to blame them. They need to find fault so they don’t have to face the randomness of life.

The truth is, anyone can become disabled at any time.

Good health is not a guarantee.

Comments

anaemicroyalty.bsky.social•55 days ago

This is why so many people lose friends when they become disabled/chronically ill, people can't handle the existential questions that arise if it's not your fault. I'm thankful I only lost one close friend that way.

sarracopia.bsky.social•55 days ago

People are cruel, and then they get mad at you when you want nothing to do with them. I'm 42 and I'm so tired.

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

I've been disabled since I was 42. I'm now 67 & I'm just fucking angry every day. I'm a tornado looking for a trailer park when I have to go anywhere. But I hardly leave my house. I haven't left my house for a week because people are assholes. Am I bitter? Probably. I'm so done explaining myself!

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

I hear you. Reach out for support from different groups online or in your community. F___ the others for their inhumanity.

triassic.bsky.social•55 days ago

So true. A friend was fit and health until her late 20s. She now has a degenerative lung disease and needs oxygen to survive and awaits a lung transplant.

Maybe we should turn her oxygen off and let her die a slow agonising death? It would save us a fortune in tax!!!!!

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

There are horrible people in the World that would advocate for disposing the disabled. It's as far from being a "Christian" as one can get.

barbarawms.bsky.social•55 days ago

The TRUTH💯🎯

beck7422.bsky.social•54 days ago

Long before I figured out I was disabled, I had people telling me that my daily tripping, difficulty with stairs, and almost no endurance in sports was because I was Fat & Lazy. At the time I was a very active kid doing all sorts of things, including multiple sports. So it didn't make sense to me.

beck7422.bsky.social•54 days ago

I could play sports at a high level for exactly 5 minutes and then hit a magic wall where I fall down paralyzed or look like a broken puppet. I had to be carried off the basketball court a few times. My coach was one of the jerks who told me it was because I was lazy and didn't practice enough.

beck7422.bsky.social•54 days ago

Instead, the problem was my diet and that I wasn't medicated for a condition I didn't know I had. I really wish I could have handed my younger self Potassium to drink. It would have fixed so many problems.

rollingredroads.bsky.social•55 days ago

I saw my husband's life entirely change after his 2006 car accident - he needs a walker full-time & is in chronic pain - all his friends suddenly disappeared, and he became a non-person in their eyes. He was left a mess. The kid and I had to help him pick up the pieces to make sense of it all.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

It feels like a hollow World...

justarose6373.bsky.social•54 days ago

Truth!

purplelily25.bsky.social•55 days ago

So very true

muffintopmomma.bsky.social•55 days ago

Truth

Was in the ICU with sepsis & a bestie tried telling me it was from tampons (I didn't use) & deserved it

I was dying & had a consistent 104 fever
But still lucid enough to tell her she was full of shit & invite her to visit so we could discuss in person

I haven't talked with her since

perfumeaddict.bsky.social•55 days ago

Good call - who needs enemies with 'friends' like that? Illness and disability are not moral failings.

muffintopmomma.bsky.social•55 days ago

👏👏👏

The reality is it makes people uncomfortable

We have these ideas of how things should be, and when they aren't perfect ...

I've met so many amazing people who's shortcomings and struggles made them who they were

Fuck perfection

Give me real

muffintopmomma.bsky.social•55 days ago

Whose

🙄🤦

wutsername.bsky.social•55 days ago

This is painfully true. I even did it to myself, in the early years of my chronic illness. To say that only made things worse is an understatement.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

I think a lot of us try desperately in our early years to "fix" ourselves. Much of the time, nothing really changes. And what do we do? We blame ourselves and beat ourselves up.

rory.bgay.social•55 days ago

Especially if we're fat. Or poor.

tnlakelady.bsky.social•55 days ago

I was 45 and my now x was much more worried about me not bringing home the bucks than he was me!

abistevensart.bsky.social•54 days ago

What an ass!
Reminds me of my mums ex. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and his first question was 'will her hair fall out?'

cheryl-blue.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yeah, we've just seen that denial with the deaths of Gene Hackman and his wife. "Shocking! Their families must not have loved them enough. That'll never happen to a relative of mine, because I will check on them regularly."

veryolympia.bsky.social•55 days ago

With fibro, I'm constantly being challenged by those who are sure it can't be that bad.

dragon-ronin.bsky.social•55 days ago

Then there are folks born that way. In junior kindergarten my legs would not bend to sit cross-legged was abused by the teacher for being lazy and disruptive. The bones in the lower leg were fused so effectively only one bone, so no twisting.

anaemicroyalty.bsky.social•55 days ago

Ouch! I am so sorry that little you wasn't believed and respected 💔

ramothrider1.bsky.social•55 days ago

I had teachers join the bullies instead of stopping them. One instance from 5th grade; a girl didn't like the way my deformed feet looked in the tennis shoes I wire. Told me looking at them made her nauseous and I should wear different shoes. Teacher agreed with her. So I wore flip flops and told

ramothrider1.bsky.social•55 days ago

The bully she should look at them during lunch since she could stand to lose some weight. I got called to the principal the next day because I made her cry. After I told him what happened the other kid and the teacher got in trouble for what they said to me.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

That is such a horrible way to be treated!

tdmarty.bsky.social•55 days ago

I agree with you a thousand percent!

elliefer.bsky.social•55 days ago

The truth is also that the more the gov impoverish people the more likely babies will be born with disability.Labour is creating a perfect storm with austerity &cuts for the poorest, most vulnerable.

thesteve0.bsky.social•43 days ago

Most common first question I got when I told people I had cancer - "how did you get it"

mztexblu.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yep, they found a brain tumor while I was in my last semester of grad school…they removed it 6 years later and blew up my career. I still owe 100k in student loans! Isn’t life grand! Care before it is you!!!

mumleelee.bsky.social•55 days ago

One day, I was a healthy teacher. Then, I noticed blisters on my scalp and my body . My gums started having painful raw spots above all of my teeth & blisters in my mouth. It hurt to eat, wash my hair & body, and to bathe. People suggested new diets and yoga because, obviously. Then they ghosted me.

anaemicroyalty.bsky.social•55 days ago

Oh my god, that sounds awful. I'm so sorry people left, I'm sure you needed them the most at that time! Are things diagnosed/under control now?

mumleelee.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yes, I have Pemphigus Vulgaris, a rare autoimmune disease. I am not in remission, but it is under better control with immunosuppressant medication.

anaemicroyalty.bsky.social•55 days ago

I'm glad ❤️ Sounds like an awful thing to be dealing with.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

I am so sorry you are going through that. Do you have support now?

mumleelee.bsky.social•54 days ago

Yes thank you!

workingclasswr.bsky.social•55 days ago

Being born with epilepsy, I was taunted, told I was demon possessed and then mental. When epilepsy is neurological. I am over being told it's my fault or asked, "did you take your medicine" in an accusatory manner if I have a seizure. No meds can totally stop them. Society hates us. #fucktrump

bessieglass11.bsky.social•55 days ago

❤️

sapiens365.bsky.social•55 days ago

When really rich nation refuses to support helpless & disabled, must ask: where is my humanity? What price nationhood promising equality & opportunity for all, if denied to those who, from disability, through no fault of their own, suffer destitution & misery. What good wealth at price of your soul.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

Agreed. Someday, there will be an accounting for them.

sickandsassy.bsky.social•55 days ago

Ya, Covid introduced me to this world and I wouldn’t have believed people were this horrible, or healthcare was this bad, until I became chronically ill from it. Now I am seeing people say that only children with “underlying health conditions” will die from measles and I just want to cry.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

There are so many people out there that refuse to believe science and the medical field.

maerlande.bsky.social•55 days ago

Exactly. Turns out, I have a 50% likelihood my cancers are genetic. Waiting on blood test which will take some months. Got it yesterday.

treewoods.bsky.social•55 days ago

This. This entire pandemic and political establishment has shown me humans are geniuses at bending reality to fit whatever narrative feels easiest. It’s also interesting to me how quickly we dehumanize people even those on our families.

treewoods.bsky.social•55 days ago

All while we have all the evidence that we are being manipulated by the Ultra rich, but many find it easier to “believe” people that are literally in their communities and family are the problem.

putawomanincharge.bsky.social•55 days ago

This is 100% true.

nicobookwitch.bsky.social•55 days ago

The truth is that most of us will become disabled in some way over the course of our lives (even temporarily), and people don't want to face that, so they play the blame/personal responsibility game.

bojbojboj.bsky.social•55 days ago

Until humanity reaches (if ever) a far point in the future where we understand our own genetics fully, we will be lottery winners and losers when it comes to health. There is little rational and logical reason for disabled people to suffer amidst a world of normal and sane people though.

lizbergstrom.bsky.social•55 days ago

The just world fallacy is so widespread! I have to keep working on countering it in my own mind: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_fallacy

parallax2112.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yes! Minor example, but I recently fractured my left elbow (partially caused by an ongoing case of labyrinthitis). Always appreciated the problems that disabled people face, but it really brought it home to me. These attitudes come down to a fundamental lack of empathy, endemic in the far-right.

gallerychapel.bsky.social•55 days ago

If you live long enough you will become disabled. 100%.

jericawinters.bsky.social•55 days ago

When I mentioned to a relative that I had to be careful how many times I went up and down the stairs at their house (I injured my left hip while exercising), he got really angry at me. 🙄

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

He isn't you. Stay true to yourself.

jericawinters.bsky.social•55 days ago

A relative got angry with me after I explained what psychosis and delusions were. I was shamed even more when I mentioned the specifics of my own delusions. I was made to feel as though my schizophrenia was a character issue and that some how I should be able to will it away.

visage66.bsky.social•55 days ago

I didn't ask for fibromyalgia.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

Oh gawd! I have had this since the early 1980s. It started out as chronic fatigue syndrome and has never quit worsening. I tried so many "cures" and endured so many saying, "But you don't look sick". Arrrrrghhhh. Now I have small fiber neuropathy and may be in a wheelchair later on.

isthisthemiddle.bsky.social•55 days ago

Well said. Thank you.

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

Please check this out for TONIGHT at 8 PM EDT.
https://bsky.app/profile/whitehouse.senate.gov/post/3lk2sgq42oc2d

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

I was doing favors for a bunch of people then on my way to a business meeting with the SBA when a semi-truck made an illegal left turn in a construction zone nearly hitting the workers & ran over my car dragging me a quarter of a mile. It took the jaws of life to get me out. I was flown to a

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

hospital where Gloria Estefan was dedicating a wing. Her spine doctor put me back together but it took a year to learn to walk again. I still have 'dead zones' in my hands/arms, I've lived with chronic pain so long that I dream in pain. It ended my career. I lost everything. Took 5 yrs to get SSDI.

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

BTW, I had a woman confront me as I was coming out of the handicap stall at a grocery store. She had her kid with her & told me I had no right to use that stall. I told her, "not all disabilities are visible." She said her kid needed the changing table; there wasn't one in the stall but on the

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

wall behind her. I pointed it out. She said I still had no right. I told her she had less right because "stupid doesn't count as a disability." Then I spoke to her kid, "honey, don't be an asshole like mommy, you can do better. "She yanked her kid around & left the bathroom. I went to CS and filed a

veronicad1.bsky.social•55 days ago

complaint. They looked at the security camera then found her & her kid & they were escorted out of the store. I made sure to be standing nearby & waved at them as they left. The kid waved back.

rlights25.bsky.social•54 days ago

Not always visible, but still painful. Be kind.

queeva.bsky.social•55 days ago

People also fall out of trees and shit.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yes. Accidents can forever change someone's life. It can happen in an instant.

queeva.bsky.social•55 days ago

Stopped me in my tracks that's for sure.Ive stopped saying why me.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

I am living this. And yes, getting increasingly disabled has wrecked hopes and dreams and earning potential. Because of this, even though I pushed hard to keep working til 65, my hours had to drop and drop some more. SS now pays me less than $850 per month. This was not my planned path...

jimmyjo12-2.bsky.social•54 days ago

A little know fact!! The disabled is the world's biggest minority group and it is only getting bigger by the day!!

veltklemmema.bsky.social•55 days ago

I prefer to live as “predisabled.” As an older person, I know what might be coming and this mindset keeps me appreciative of what I can still do.

dreamcat.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yeah I was blamed on my weight why my heart went bad when in fact it was because of my thyroid.

squijibo.bsky.social•55 days ago

My GP blamed things on being slightly overweight, any common ailment he could throw pills at 'to see what happens', being pre-diabetic (I wasn't), cheating on my blood glucose tests (wtf doc?), and finally 'maybe a hygiene issue?'

It was sfn, large fiber and autonomic neuropathies w/ genetic cause.

carrielambertsen.bsky.social•55 days ago

radar144.bsky.social•55 days ago

💯💯💯

felgraf.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yep.

silveryfir.bsky.social•55 days ago

So true. It seriously changes your life and no matter how hard you struggle, you tend to get blamed for your own illness. I would say even by the healthcare system.

mamapat57.bsky.social•55 days ago

Yes. This is so true.

theungovernable.bsky.social•55 days ago

Hence, the idea that we're all one tragic accident from becoming disabled.

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