I would go with a dirty "vodka martini" because I can think of nothing lower than the so-called vodka martini, especially when "dirty." - ThreadSky

lauralippman.bsky.social • 99 days ago

I would go with a dirty "vodka martini" because I can think of nothing lower than the so-called vodka martini, especially when "dirty."

Reposted from Alexander Chee

Last night I heard a story about someone going to a bar where she discovered her lover was having dinner with another woman. She bought and then threw a drink at him in the dining room, buying the drink for that purpose. I then started wondering, what is the best cocktail to throw at someone?

Comments

caitesq.bsky.social•99 days ago

The cocktail glass seems good for really flinging the drink

modernatimes.bsky.social•99 days ago

Nonsense. You would get a disgusting, sweet, sticky drink. White Russian? Blue Lagoon? Something that will be sticky and smell awful and maybe leave a permanent stain.

davewhite.bsky.social•99 days ago

Olive this tweet.

lauralippman.bsky.social•99 days ago

DAVE

davewhite.bsky.social•99 days ago

wmschumacher.bsky.social•99 days ago

If in the face, the olive brine would add an additional sting to the eyes. Tactical maneuver.

dberger43.bsky.social•99 days ago

Here on Crete, my favorite bar makes me a coconut gimlet with vodka (sorry not sorry) and that would work really well, because it's quite sticky and full of tiny bits of coconut. Hope they're wearing dark colors.

maryb2004.bsky.social•99 days ago

I’d go with something that stains. Bourbon or brandy based.

thermoj.bsky.social•60 days ago

Umm... There's the "Duck Fart", Laura. Made famous on "Deadliest Catch".
1 ounce Kahlua.
1 ounce Baileys Irish Cream.
1⁄2 ounce Crown Royal whiskey
Tasty AND guaranteed to make an unholy mess out of some A-Hole's Hugo Boss shirt! 🤣

crankycatlady.bsky.social•99 days ago

A laaaaarge Bloody Mary-just think about the mess! All that red, and the little twiggy bits of celery everywhere.

wmreddy.bsky.social•99 days ago

Grasshopper...

janecanonymous.bsky.social•99 days ago

I would buy something large and gooey, preferably with chunks. Maybe a maitai, making sure to loosen the pineapple trim. An umbrella would be extra.

lauralippman.bsky.social•99 days ago

Why are people telling me what I would do when I just said what I would do?

lauralippman.bsky.social•99 days ago

"You're scum AND an embarrassment to classic cocktails."

yourcanadiangf.bsky.social•99 days ago

I would always go with a blue cocktails since that stuff stains.

mightyapollo.bsky.social•99 days ago

Even worse than blue curaçao is blueberry syrup. When blueberries are good I make a blueberry sour that is a family favorite. Once everyone starts pouring their own we all look like Jackson Pollock paintings.

mannahattamamma.bsky.social•99 days ago

true but it might be fun to throw something that would stain. A bloody mary, perhaps, or a slushy strawberry daiquiri.

pollybruno.bsky.social•99 days ago

Yes. Just as a vodka gimlet is an affront to the gimlet.

jeffabbott.bsky.social•99 days ago

i just introduced the classic Martini to our oldest son (youngest wanted to stick with beer) when we were at a steakhouse recently and he was like. oh. oh that's good. i didn't know it would be like that.

this young man once bought a $5 bottle of gin in college and complained it wasn't very good

lauralippman.bsky.social•99 days ago

They grow up so fast.

jeffabbott.bsky.social•99 days ago

he is a software engineer for Amazon and just got engaged. i am . . . how did all that happen, don't i need to sign something from your teacher

aimeehixauthor.bsky.social•99 days ago

Shirley Temple - stain, sticky, and the added bonus of not paying for liquor. Literally has a cherry on top.

cincy3way.bsky.social•99 days ago

Amen. And the nerve to omit the word “vodka” when ordering.

aristofontes.bsky.social•99 days ago

I'd think you'd want something really gross and sticky, like a Peppermint Bomb or a Brain Hemorrhage.

dglaity.bsky.social•99 days ago

Surely this is an occasion, if not *THE* occasion, for a 'Frog in a Blender'?

tap10.bsky.social•99 days ago

Would it be more satisfying use well vodka or go top shelf?

lauralippman.bsky.social•99 days ago

Hmmmm, this is provocative.

patravey.bsky.social•99 days ago

@tap10.bsky.social Ordering call brands for a vodka martini is show-offy and a waste of money. A blind taste a few years ago crowned Smirnoff as the best.

valmcdermid.bsky.social•98 days ago

Espresso martini, surely, because you can’t just wipe it off without a trace?

jeffabbott.bsky.social•99 days ago

LAURA HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

aliedh.bsky.social•99 days ago

Something cheap and sticky like a Shirley Temple with extra grenadine. Not wasting money on real drinks for a loser.

mrsdanderfluff.bsky.social•99 days ago

Something that will either have a long-lingering odor or irreparably stain his clothing.

alexkenna.bsky.social•99 days ago

something with some heat to it and aim for the eyes. Jalapeno margarita?

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