I absolutely hated my dad when it came to room cleaning time as a kid. Jed berate me, call me a pig, say I was like my mother. Go in when I wasn't room and throw all my stuff away. As a parent of an ND child myself... I get it. I mean, I absolutely won't be lashing out on my child like that, but I+ - ThreadSky

ardnaid.bsky.social • 1 day ago

I absolutely hated my dad when it came to room cleaning time as a kid. Jed berate me, call me a pig, say I was like my mother. Go in when I wasn't room and throw all my stuff away.

As a parent of an ND child myself... I get it. I mean, I absolutely won't be lashing out on my child like that, but I+

Comments

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

Get the impulse. I know the state of her room is partially fault and I will not let it get this bad again, but fuuuuuck.

I'm trying to break it down into small chunks and being patient and helping as much as I can/making sure I'm not helping too much.

But it is not going well folks.

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

It's day one. It will get worse before it gets better. Gotta make more mess so we have space to sort and organize. The focus today is to empty her room. One thing at a time. Cliche words of wisdom.

jrnlfulldoodles.bsky.social•1 day ago

It’s so so so hard and when you add in the things that make you go “oh, I get it now” from your own parents? That’s a real bitch and a half. Like it’s not bad enough you gotta do the actual work but you gotta confront your emotional baggage too? No thanks!

Good job getting started 🩵

alimasin.bsky.social•1 day ago

Proud of you for doing it, and doing it mindfully!

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

Thank you. I'm trying lol

queermeli.bsky.social•1 day ago

It’s so easy to fall down that road!! I’m glad you know your limitations and have a plan!

t3ddybunny.bsky.social•1 day ago

My mom would throw away my toys and just clean the room herself because (imagine this) my six year old self didn't know how to clean it the "right way". When I got older and she threatened the same, I just told her I'd throw away everything I had and then there'd be no mess. Her face said it all

aliassamm.bsky.social•1 day ago

You're amazing for helping your kid tackle this stuff! As a kid (and adult) who always had trouble being tidy (and whose parents behaved similarly) I would have loved for one of them to come in and even offer to keep me company while I tried to sort through the chaos. You're a great parent! 💜

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yeah the worst thing in hindsight is my mom never actually taught me to tidy up or organize? It’s a whole skillset! And she just expected me to magically come pre-loaded with it.

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•1 day ago

“Just have a place where things go and then put them there” cool cool well now I’m a grownup with the most haphazard drawer system known to humankind bc I only learned to randomly designate “this goes there” and then try to force it to work forever.

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•1 day ago

Also the part where I was actively discouraged and in some cases even forbidden from having the visual stimulation levels that I do best with. Clutter is not a healthy coping skill but it *functions* to provide visual stimulation!

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•1 day ago

Like, I finally got a lava lamp and it’s suddenly easier to keep my desk tidy bc it’s still visually stimulating when it’s tidy!

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yep, I was never taught to tidy. I was expected to just know it. But not only did I not, I have a ND brain & I needed help finding what works for me but never got that. Still trying to figure out how to get my brain to work before it gets to the point of "too much clutter, burn house and start over"

aliassamm.bsky.social•1 day ago

I love this idea! I do tend to keep the areas where I've put my favourite stuff pretty clear. But it just piles up elsewhere and becomes part of my erratic academic aesthetic.

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

I still struggle so much with this and I hate seeing my kid being the same. I'm trying to do what I think would have helped me. Like I remember being helped by parallel play before that was even a thing I knew about. Just having a friend hang out while I cleaned. I'm trying to do that but I also +

ardnaid.bsky.social•1 day ago

End up cleaning for her which is not what I'm trying to do here. I'll help but I am not cleaning her room for her anymore. But that part of me that sees her taking forever or doing it a way I wouldn't do it is itching to take over, and I gotta fight it 💀

aliassamm.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yasss! Parallel play is so helpful! I get what you mean about the itch to take over. Like trying to calmly watch a boomer try and navigate file explorer. Good luck! Let us know if you need some pirate parallel play for your parallel play.

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply