I have to be honest about something for me personally… a lot of men are boring me. I want real engaging conversation and time. Otherwise, it’s incredibly boring. That’s all.
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
Sometimes I don’t even think it’s because they’re actually boring. They just wildly insecure so they would rather say nothing. Tell me that nerdy random thought and then I’ll tell you mine.
Ok that is true for some
But they can still be boring
Guy I've been talking with has a ton of insecurities, which is actually sweet but he's not boring
He's memorable in a world with so many who are easy to forget
Of course some people are m just boring. I’m talking about a very specific type of man. Obviously that’s your guy. You know he’s sweet and not boring. The type of man I’m talking about I would know neither, because he will not communicate.
Oh I get it, I've talked with thousands since the internet started hooking folks up
No idea if he's my guy, don't really care, I'm learning how to enjoy the moment, not force it
Also how to give unconditional love
Offering a safe space for him to explore his communication
Most of them don’t want to put in the effort. They think they just need to be mildly attractive, “funny,” physically fit and financially stable and we should just deal with it.
I don’t think they believe us when we say we need that mental stimulation.
one reason my wife knows our marriage is because she knows I can’t run the risk of losing daily interesting conversations at home and I’m not going on the hunt to find new sources.
The alternative tends to be that they're interesting and invested up to a point, and then after either engagement or moving in together it all goes off like a fart in the wind
So I don't blame anyone for being wary. It's such a shitty move
Recently re-entered the world of dating. My profile outlines I am a professor, farmer, musician, movies, lit, games I'm into, etc. Majority of men email me opening lines of 'hey. what's up.' or 'anything fun planned for the weekend?' What am I supposed to do with these openers? Engage me!
OMG. Yes, one dude asked for my number after one exchange. Nope and Nope! I am not giving any personal contact info until we have at least met in person (in a safe and public place)
Married man here, where are my single brothers lacking in conversation? I'm not talking about in text, dating, in person. And is it across the board? Or is it dependent on education level?
honesty like this is refreshing. depth, real engagement, and meaningful conversation are essential—they’re what make connections feel alive. it’s not too much to ask for time and effort to be reciprocated.
I think this is an interesting point because I’ve heard friends go through similar hang ups about having empty conversations with folks. This a thing that’s happening a lot
The key is finding someone who will be your best friend and has similar interests as you. That way when you start feeling bored you don’t mind just existing with your special someone. You’re not always going to be stimulated all the time by the one you spend the most time with.
Sure. There are a lot of dates you can go on for low cost/free. You want to hike a trail and then cook dinner at your house instead of going out to a fancy restaurant? Ok cool.
I’ ve only ever heard this irl online women tend to despise broke men, but also the women I know irl who ld agree with u tend to be well off or have their own thing going. u truly surprised me.
What women don't want to do is raise someone else's child. 50/50 in a relationship can look like different things. You can hold each other down different ways. I already work, pay my bills, clean my house, cook my food etc. You have to provide some typa benefit besides D. I can buy one at the store
i feel soooooooooo seen by this. i thought maybe it was my environment but honey i’m a medical student and it’s not like these doctors/lawyers are that much better 😭
Same. But it's hard when I find a smart/interesting man bc they'll often turn out to be using their intelligence to be terrorists and I have to get rid of them too, it's very exhausting
Yes!!
This!
I had a stroke at 34
One of the side effects is that neural pathways to new people don't stick if they aren't stimulating enough
I could talk to 100 dif guys for 1-6 month(s) and not remember any of them because they all act like clones of the same boring personality in a dif skin suit
Men are lazy as a default when it comes to relationships, and it’s shameful, especially if they 1) are not interested, or 2) don’t think they have to try anymore. A lot of men simply lack the emotional intelligence to be the least bit vulnerable, or are just scared.
I think that in general, a lot of people have become superficial. They don't have hobbies, don't read, and their identity is defined by material things.
My social battery is horrible. I can admit that. I have to really want to talk to you to get actual conversation out of me. If that makes any kind of sense 🤦🏾♂️
Well you know “The FitnessGram Pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter Pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal “
One of my biggest fears is women I'm interested in thinking I'm boring. Been working on making myself more "interesting" (mostly just working on my conversational skills lol)
This is great - but ultimately it comes from what you’re into. What are your hobbies? What do you geek out on? It’s as simple as the books you’re reading. Perhaps you’re into Marvel movies. Or you’re an amateur meteorologist. Not asking “how was your day”? but something introspective.
“Introspective” is the key word, IMO. You can’t have interesting conversation if you don’t have an inner life that you’re willing to share with others.
I admittedly don’t like talking on the phone, but I recently had a 2.5-hour convo with someone who knows I’d put her through TWO mattresses if given the opportunity.
What we did actually *talk* about? The election, and parenting neurodivergent children. Those two topics ALONE took up all the time.
(and also, amongst other things, eventually, it helps you take ownership of your own side of things—which is DEEPLY HELPFUL in a relationship/attractive in general)
That's actually an awesome and intriguing hobby that would make for a great talking point! Conversation can be rough, so it's not a bad idea to pre-plan talking points. You don't have to have a script, just things you like, feel curious about, and what you're informed on.
If you can build a safe space with the people you're talking with, love interest or not
Being safe enough to ask if you're being too much, too little, too boring
Most want that kind of communication
Some chics don't, they follow the toxic side, mirroring the obnoxious dudes
Comments
But they can still be boring
Guy I've been talking with has a ton of insecurities, which is actually sweet but he's not boring
He's memorable in a world with so many who are easy to forget
No idea if he's my guy, don't really care, I'm learning how to enjoy the moment, not force it
Also how to give unconditional love
Offering a safe space for him to explore his communication
I don’t think they believe us when we say we need that mental stimulation.
So I don't blame anyone for being wary. It's such a shitty move
I have that with my wife.
Twenty-four years' worth.
You deserve that.
This!
I had a stroke at 34
One of the side effects is that neural pathways to new people don't stick if they aren't stimulating enough
I could talk to 100 dif guys for 1-6 month(s) and not remember any of them because they all act like clones of the same boring personality in a dif skin suit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHUUeoRmjM8
What we did actually *talk* about? The election, and parenting neurodivergent children. Those two topics ALONE took up all the time.
Being safe enough to ask if you're being too much, too little, too boring
Most want that kind of communication
Some chics don't, they follow the toxic side, mirroring the obnoxious dudes