I don't recall past Onion articles nearly driving me to tears.

https://theonion.com/ice-agent-decides-he-wants-kids-after-seeing-incredible-1826461558/?fbclid=IwY2xjawIKCFJleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHW2xs_tSp6p-EqJtd3E1knLLw6tK7DKGu25Aeo8JH7vR-3RRt4pJ26hw5Q_aem_EcacXgcLUW7RMl0H9QzLtA

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