I mean the discomfort is something you know something you can find "protection" in. Kinda like hoe when I get criticism I know what to do with it but if I get a compliments it's like as if somebody gave me a crying baby, it's nice? I guess,? Thanks?! but I just don't know what to do with it.
thats the mind demon speaking. its a terrible pattern that brains can sometimes twist themselves into where negative stimuli are seen as comforting and positive experiences are seen as confusing, and its a difficult one to climb out of but it MUST be left behind bc thats just no way to live
i was like that for most of my adolescence and early 20s and eventually i just accepted that maybe thats how everyone is deep down and actually no, thats not the case, that was just me trying to justify my own poor state to myself
Yeah that's the fear of the uncertain. The discomfort is familiar, you know what it is. If you don't try, coming out of your shell is going to remain uncertain and uncomfortable and uncontrollable. A self-perpetuating cycle of self-punishment.
Yup, that's why it took me for-fucking-ever to just try a feminine name and pronouns too. Super frustrating, especially if you know the eggy song and dance by heart and have witnessed it countless times
half u bitches would be happier if u were more daring, like if youre spending more time justifying why you cant try things than it'd take you to try them you've successfully imprisoned yourself and you need to break out. ask me how i know
2024 has been me doing a bunch of what was to me very scary shit and you know what even if i bounced off some things there has not been a single instance of me going "hmmm i wish i hadnt tried" in retrospect
do the stupid fucking eyeliner and wear the stupid fucking dress and use your stupid trained voice in public because you know what, no one is going to do it for you and also the only person with a responsibility for your happiness is you. so if youre not doing your duty, then who else
plus stuff is almost always easier in reality than it is in your head bc if ive learned one thing about u bitches its that yall like to catastrophize and overthink
"oh wah wah but the world is scary right now" ok when is it not going to be scary to be trans. name a date or a specific set of conditions. bc it's never going to be 0% spooky and also half of you people already werent doing that stuff before it got scarier so like. when WILL you do it
this whole thread is so real!!! i spent years post-coming out just. doing nothing re gender? and it's been so great to be pushing myself again, it's definitely made my life better and more fulfilling!
if youre already arguing yourself out of pursuing warmth and beauty and connection and expression, then the bastards dont even need to up the scare factor. youre already doing their job for them. they're winning because you're refusing to play
Hate to say it, but yeah, there definitely are some people who seem to be genuinely waiting for someone to come in and do the transition *for* them, and it’s heartbreaking, cos that’s just not how shit works in this world.
i cant do their transition for them but hey i can at least yell at them in vagueposts on the internet so i hope maybe this moves the needle for at least one or two people
I was just telling someone the other day: Ironically, now that the danger is more in my face than ever before, I feel more determined to become more myself, more human. No more fearing the uncertain nebulous potential punishment, I KNOW that things are bad! I'd better get busy living anyway!!
Comments
I say as someone deeply stuck in it
I guess I'll just add a tag to this one
#lazulisavedthis
https://bsky.app/profile/mel.bzky.team/post/3lj4t6wpzkk27
me: yeah, i just really like to take it easy, be chill
doctor: you have 3 diseases related to stress and another 2 because you dont manage it