Get a second opinion, had an eye doctor tell me i had keratoconus, turns out i just had chronically dry eyes, theyd dried out enough i had a tear on my cornea and it sort of went V shape from being so dry
I am actively trying to imagine that the future will be better and that it’s not too late for me to take care of my body and I am worried the cPTSD was correct and it’s too late and I’m gonna die lmao
It feels like every time I make a tiny bit of progress the trauma is then vindicated and I backslide lol. like I let my guard down and then I’m punished for it
So it’s not on the same level, but I totally get the feeling of that one last thing sucking all the wind out of your sales. And with anxiety, etc, it’s only worse. But also, you’ve proven you’re a lot more resilient than you think, and this is just a little setback. It sucks. But you got this.
I’d say don’t worry, but as an expert worrier myself, I know that’s a silly thing to say. But I also know from experience sometimes you just need an outside voice to remind you that you’re ok and you’ll be ok.
I know it doesn’t help much where you are right now, but progress isn’t linear. There are always backslides, often so many we wonder if we’re making progress at all. But eventually we look back and realize we have.
I can’t make any promises but I can tell you it took me years to get out from under it, there were lots of backslides, things aren’t perfect but I am here and I am … more or less okay.
I hope I can. It’s so bad lately. I think that living in places where I justifiably couldn’t feel safe has really genuinely broken me and I want to fix it but it’s insanely challenging
Comments
(But also boo that sucks 😭)
Nonetheless, I believe in you.