Something that many never bother to learn is that the APPEARANCE of harm is not harm itself. And so many times, the objections people have are about *aesthetics* Oh, BDSM makes them think of abuse, so it is abusive by itself. Aesthetics, discomfort. Not *consent dynamics* Consent matters. - ThreadSky

loosf.bsky.social • 58 days ago

Something that many never bother to learn is that the APPEARANCE of harm is not harm itself.

And so many times, the objections people have are about *aesthetics*

Oh, BDSM makes them think of abuse, so it is abusive by itself.

Aesthetics, discomfort.
Not *consent dynamics*

Consent matters.

Reposted from Muchy 🌟SpiderNut Progenitor🌟 Mozzarella 🇵🇭

Thinking that discomfort = harm legitimizes ALL fascist bigotry. It means they're RIGHT to hurt you for being queer because it makes them uncomfortable. It means they're RIGHT to kill a homeless person because that person made them uncomfortable.

Discomfort isn't harm. Harm is harm. Remember that.

Comments

claire.chapien.net•58 days ago

I don't necessarily agree with leaping to comparing it to fascism, but I definitely agree otherwise (wrt BDSM anyway -- policing what people wear in public can quickly veer into fascism)

claire.chapien.net•58 days ago

I think there are valid reasons for individuals to be uncomfortable with specific kinks, it's just when that discomfort is interpreted as violence onto them that things get problematic

dinskitchen.bsky.social•57 days ago

Still a little surprised at the number of supportive friends who peg S&M as solely a negative/punishment (even with the added, "you'd like it too" tacked on).

The sensory/emotional shift from a good hard BDSM session can leave me feeling more satisfied than any meh-to-fine orgasm by faaaar. >.>

loosf.bsky.social•58 days ago

"Oh but I do not consent to see THOSE PEOPLE wearing THOSE THINGS"

where have I heard that.

simoskunk.bsky.social•58 days ago

It's also telling how sexual things are bout the only thing you hear people 'consenting' to: I didn't 'consent' to seeing so many guns or so much violence, or so many cars and so much pollution, but there it is. Do these people think life is one long consent form?

massanotter.bsky.social•58 days ago

The guns and violence analogy is one I often think of. Military garb was made to do violence in, but we all understand that seeing it is not equal to having violence done to you. But many people lack that understanding with clothing and accessories made for kink - the garment/hood is not the act.

saikoraccoon.bsky.social•57 days ago

Gonna offend some Victorian sensibilities by lifting my dress and revealing my heavenly ankles.

hakirsch.bsky.social•57 days ago

I am probably guilty of exactly that about some specific bdsm things that kind of trigger my justice reaction.

robindamien.bsky.social•57 days ago

Part of the reason I'm so wary of nanny state stuff like this is because it had been a large anti-feminism, anti-queer & anti-religious freedom dog whistle my entire life & beyond.

A lot of bad things have come out of "I must tell them what to do for their own good & to prove how good I am."

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