Claude is telling me this is called “Distancing Past Tense” or “Attitudinal Past Tense”, where a question or request is put into a more passive statement by creating psychological distance between the question/request and the immediacy of the phrasing, thus less pressure.
In the Swedish Academy Grammar they talk about Förskjutet tempus och konjunktiv i hövlighetsuttryck 'Shifted tense and subjunctive in expressions of politeness'
I've always assumed the metaphorical meaning was "you must have told me and I forgot; I'm a silly goose and you are an infallible customer" — but I would also like to see those papers if they exist.
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