A vibrant community needs variety, and SF just doesn't feel like it has it right now. But I'm also struggling to figure out where to go where there would be more diversity of people, and I know this is a me-problem for lack of imagination, but I basically only have roots in SF and SoCal.
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I wouldn't say that friendships take years to form for me, just that... I can still feel the difference between a friend I met six months ago and one I've known for half my life.