while we're still on the "subtle things many hb fans seem to miss" train: stolas and stella were actively pretending to be a happy couple in front of octavia right up until his affair with blitz. this is why via is so upset with him in sinsmas 🧵
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this is discussed in the circus. stolas wanted to give via a "normal" childhood, and that was the deal: stella plays along, she gets money and a nice life. when stolas announced their divorce after his affair, the deal was off. this is why via was so blindsided. it happened literally overnight
is stolas a very sympathetic character? were his decisions well-meaning and understandable when you consider the context? yes, absolutely! but was it really in via's best interests? who's to say she wouldn't have had a perfectly happy childhood with a father who was divorced but happy and thriving?
stolas claims that he did everything for his daughter's sake but that's not fully accurate. he did everything because of his own unprocessed childhood trauma; he grew up a lonely boy with no mother and an uncaring father. it's not fair to put that on via's shoulders without giving her a say in it
as a note: this doesn't mean stolas is a bad person and it doesn't justify anything that stella did. it's a healthy thing to be able to sympathize with a person's situation while also acknowledging that they made decisions that hurt people.
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