imagine being a secret service agent with an impeccable career and lifetime of serving the country and then you get assigned to guard the closet that they keep jd vance locked in - ThreadSky

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ygrene.bsky.social • 2 days ago

imagine being a secret service agent with an impeccable career and lifetime of serving the country and then you get assigned to guard the closet that they keep jd vance locked in

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vincentvangauche.bsky.social•2 days ago

If you slip a chip under the door he’ll recite dogma so badly that he pisses off the pope.

viral-protocol.bsky.social•2 days ago

Better than being assigned to Vances living room

popezebbidiexii.bsky.social•2 days ago

that gentle squelch when you sit on the leather couch

ygrene.bsky.social•2 days ago

they shoo him in there with a broom

strikefaceshow.bsky.social•1 day ago

They could just put a nice couch in there and he'd go willingly

cyaneyed.wtf•2 days ago

I imagine him attempting to hiss while getting shooed in but he's too spitty for it to sound intimidating

ygrene.bsky.social•2 days ago

he starts hacking and his face turns really red

tokenize.bsky.social•2 days ago

are you kidding? The job requirements for that job are “can you dry clean a tube sock?”

tokenize.bsky.social•2 days ago

Like, @ygrene.bsky.social, if you’re recruiting for the “Time Enough at Last” of our modern age, where I break my glasses doing JD Vance’s dry cleaning at the end of the world, pencil me in for that Outlook invitation. I’m a definite maybe.

jordanshawn.bsky.social•2 days ago

Lmao

humansarehumans.bsky.social•2 days ago

Think about the poor SS person who has to jump in front of all Hegseth's shots.

thebadcode.com•2 days ago

"if you see a tentacle slither out from under the door, shoot it"

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