My strongest memory of COVID:
I was sat in a respirator. They are horrible to wear. It made my nose stream and I'd gone deaf in one ear from pressure on my temperomandibular joint from the mask straps.
I was tired. So, utterly, dog tired.
I'd just reviewed a man, in his 50s
I was sat in a respirator. They are horrible to wear. It made my nose stream and I'd gone deaf in one ear from pressure on my temperomandibular joint from the mask straps.
I was tired. So, utterly, dog tired.
I'd just reviewed a man, in his 50s
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He was obviously dying.
It's hard enough to have an end of life conversation face to face. Let alone on the phone. Let alone bellowing down the phone through a plastic helmet, unable to hear or talk properly.
His sister answered.
"I'm sorry, but it's
She just sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed.
She was an Emergency Department sister herself. Working through the pandemic.
Her mum had just died of COVID the morning previously.
Her Dad was dying at
She would have to watch him die in her living room.
Whilst she grieved her Mum and now her brother.
She couldn't come
I promised her he wouldn't die alone without caring hands touching.
I hung up.
It was unrelenting.
I went home. I wanted the company of friends. The blissful ignorance of stupid drinks in a pub.
But we couldn't. So we didn't.
I slept, and came back to run the loop again.
It was fucking horrible.
But we did it. In the knowledge we were all in it together.
No cake.
No parties.
No mutual soothing.
No party hats and quizzes and cheese and wine.
Just head down, keep moving, for the greater good.