Apparently applying stove polish to a cosplay piece wrapped in vinyl, for the sake of darkening and weathering the piece in question to make it consistent with the armor it's worn with, makes it smell like pee, which is the opposite of ideal for a piece worn over one's lower abdomen and crotch.
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But I'm also laughing so hard right now 😆
Either way, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it, at least.