A question for the people who would rather fake an orgasm than help instruct their partner on what they could be doing differently to help them reach one, because they don’t want to potentially hurt their partner’s feelings: What made you prioritize their feelings over your pleasure? - ThreadSky

moxierosedances.bsky.social • 59 days ago

A question for the people who would rather fake an orgasm than help instruct their partner on what they could be doing differently to help them reach one, because they don’t want to potentially hurt their partner’s feelings:

What made you prioritize their feelings over your pleasure?

Comments

buttonlady.bsky.social•59 days ago

For me it was shame. Being thought of as a “slut” for advocating for my pleasure so instead I would just pretend to enjoy what they enjoyed. Took years to unpack & correct that thinking.

gravesco.bsky.social•59 days ago

Definitely no longer the case but with a past partner, battling his fragile ego was far more frustrating than faking it. Top priority after that relationship (entered when I was too young and raised evangelical to know better) was honesty.

morallygray0.bsky.social•59 days ago

I faked it once when I first started dating my husband. Poor guy was working SOO hard but I was too nervous. I felt so guilty afterwards that I told him. I never faked it again and now we have a full and abundant sex life ✨

troublereimagined.bsky.social•59 days ago

That's so sweet - you had performance anxiety! 😂❤️😍

morallygray0.bsky.social•59 days ago

I did! It was our first time together and I didn't want to mess it up 🤣

scatteredbard.bsky.social•59 days ago

Purity culture programming. That bs that we are there for our man’s pleasure only. (Working on deprogramming)

mshappythrifter.bsky.social•58 days ago

I gave up on trying to tell him. Amongst other things.

troublereimagined.bsky.social•59 days ago

I don't fake it. I'm happy to direct you like a mutha fuckin air traffic controller, but you gotta EARN that O 🤣

stitchy--witchy.bsky.social•59 days ago

Former partner (thank fuck): i was his first, i had never had a satisfying experience with a partner and he took everything i said like an insult. Definitely not the way it is now

firebirdleather.bsky.social•59 days ago

Honestly, a lot of people have been so bad in bed all around that I faked it just so the experience could be over without demolishing their egos.

I knew it wasn't in their skillset to get me there, but I didn't wanna be a dick about it.

mamakris-aka-kk.bsky.social•57 days ago

Until amazing people like you came along we didn’t know we could. We didn’t know how to ask for what we wanted. We didn’t know there were ways to discover how to achieve bliss the way our bodies needed.

darmarbertry.bsky.social•59 days ago

In my previous life (glad it’s in the past) partner took ANY suggestion as criticism. It just showed their lack of confidence & imagination. Towards the end of the relationship I just wanted it over with. Thankful for a mature, adventurous & thorough partner now.

indylou.bsky.social•59 days ago

Honestly not sure how to direct someone in that situation, same moves don't always do the trick 🤷

staysparkly.bsky.social•59 days ago

Way back when (phew glad it's in the past!): that sweet combination of neurodivergent masking and trauma/attachment issues.

face-stompn-cutie.bsky.social•59 days ago

I only did once when I was young. We weren't in a relationship, and I never was intimate with him again. I did it to spare his feelings because he was a really nice person. He was the only person that's got that pass from me.

murphysraven.bsky.social•59 days ago

Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that I couldn't "get there" and just wanting to be done without the man making a big deal out of it. This was of course when I was younger and not as educated.

amethystbunny.bsky.social•56 days ago

It happened for a few reasons some being I was young, didn't know how to educate them / if it didn't work was concerned they would be upset and purely anxiety around the lack of education I had on female pleasure.

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply