Advance posting to wish a happy Independence Day to everybody who’s cut off or gone limited contact with a mom who cannot/will not see you, protect you, or show you love in the way you need. You’re a fucking badass and I hope you will take a moment to celebrate yourself this weekend - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

dylanmeconis.bsky.social • 305 days ago

Advance posting to wish a happy Independence Day to everybody who’s cut off or gone limited contact with a mom who cannot/will not see you, protect you, or show you love in the way you need. You’re a fucking badass and I hope you will take a moment to celebrate yourself this weekend

Comments

rocksizedrock.bsky.social•305 days ago

huh, never thought of this holiday that way. I think I will do that.

Dim sum. I will celebrate my awesomeness tomorrow with dim sum. :D

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•305 days ago

Please eat the absolute daylights out of some scallion pancakes on your own behalf 🙏

hashfyre.dev•305 days ago

Thanks for this Dylan.

defendedbe.bsky.social•303 days ago

Thx for the acknowledgement: my sister & I cut off our mother >21 years ago when it became abundantly clear that the narcissism & sociopathy that fucked up our childhoods were just going to continue to corrode our adulthoods. I've never regretted it for one moment since then.

Our stepmom is great.

styven7.bsky.social•305 days ago

This goes for Father’s Day as well.

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•305 days ago

It does. At the same time, I feel mothers (regardless of their quality) have a particularly intimate and worshipful glow cast upon their role in our society, which makes people who walk away from that relationship more prone to being shamed or feeling at fault.

benjamindewey.bsky.social•305 days ago

Sent this to my sister; she is the only girl (4 brothers.) My mother has a lot of internalized misogyny that makes her narcissistic tendencies particularly barbed toward Emily. It’s tragic to love a person you can’t trust. I learned that lesson myself 20 years ago so I have major boundaries set up.

kimberlykitsuragi.bsky.social•305 days ago

I’ll take you up on that when Father’s Day rolls around. I’m sorry for your circumstance♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

jjjk7.bsky.social•305 days ago

Last week, I randomly saw this while scrolling and felt a massive fucking weight leave my body

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hanvanderhart.bsky.social•304 days ago

You can’t heal with someone who hasn’t healed themselves ❤️🙏

jenbo.bsky.social•304 days ago

Omg, this is amazing. Mind blown.

rhiannonroot.bsky.social•304 days ago

I needed this today. Thank you.

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•305 days ago

I have 1.67 children of my own, and if I ever truly fail them, I hope they don’t waste a minute in going out and finding what they’re owed.

allisontype.bsky.social•305 days ago

Thanks for this.

katbhave.bsky.social•304 days ago

Thank you. Needed to hear this. Feel less guilty about not talking to her than I did, but feel a bit sad on these days.....

dhaise.bsky.social•305 days ago

The last time I had any contact with my mother she was taunting me about the impending death of her own mother. I knew at that moment that nothing else she would ever have to say to me would make up for that.

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•305 days ago

A perverse kindness to grant you what you needed to make a clean break.

tullyquinn.bsky.social•304 days ago

I don't know how because I feel tremendously guilty about it

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•304 days ago

That seems common and understandable. Anything you can do to show yourself a little compassion counts ❤️

jenbo.bsky.social•305 days ago

Thank you. I needed to hear this right now. She's a narcissist and I keep forgetting that she can't be trusted.

dylanmeconis.bsky.social•305 days ago

It’s so natural to want to be able to trust — it’s how a species like ours survives such an insanely long and vulnerable childhood. I don’t know anybody who’s ever fully let go of that instinct, they’ve just learned other ways to stay as safe as they can in spite of it.

juniperriver.bsky.social•304 days ago

My mom is too. I've been no contact for years now, and it's amazing how my brain really wants to forget all the terrible crap she did. I have to go read my old journals to refresh my resolve sometimes. Sorry you're also in this crappy club, hugs if you want them

jenbo.bsky.social•304 days ago

I'm sorry, it sucks. I live rhe closest to madre so I can't go no contact yet but I am looking forward to it. Hugs gratefully accepted, I offer yiu one, too.

juniperriver.bsky.social•304 days ago

My mom did me a favor in that she had a streak of particularly terrible behavior in the months before I was set to move to the opposite coast. Made for a pretty clean break, but was still a grieving process. Be gentle with yourself when it's your turn 💕

jenbo.bsky.social•304 days ago

I just saw this and it speaks to me.

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monkeycat.bsky.social•304 days ago

I feel your pain because I flew from Memphis to Minneapolis and then drove to Preston, Minnesota for Mother's Day while my sister sits on her ass a 2 hr drive away not visiting or sending a card. And I'm the bad guy.

freshmarks.bsky.social•304 days ago

The Golden Child privilege is so real. Saw it in my own family. I’m sorry you didn’t get the love and respect you deserve.

freshmarks.bsky.social•304 days ago

I really needed this. Thanks.

zcubed.bsky.social•304 days ago

Thanks for this! The last time I spoke to her was through attorneys. My wife and I celebrate the last time I spoke to her in person. 14 glorious years this year.

izanamic.bsky.social•304 days ago

Thank you! I needed to read something like this. I can relate. I, in turn, wish you a Happy Independence Day yet I am not free from the damage mom did to my psyche.