Whomst among us has not lost multiple husbands to a vampire - ThreadSky

mostlymartha.bsky.social • 470 days ago

Whomst among us has not lost multiple husbands to a vampire

Comments

You’d think by husband four, word would have gotten around to invest in some garlic before marrying her. (Or whatever works against Sumatran vampires).

tanyapacker.bsky.social•470 days ago

🤣

tourguidethomas.bsky.social•8 days ago

Oh no! Another husband lost to the vampires?

mostlymartha.bsky.social•8 days ago

It does be happening to a gal!

(HELLOOOO DARLING!)

weregeek.bsky.social•470 days ago

Some of us can't get even one and she's just carelessly letting them out at night where the vampires can get them? Dammit, husbands are indoor pets for a REASON!

kelliebob.bsky.social•470 days ago

Feeding husbands to the vampire teaches them to rely on humans and ruins their natural survival instincts!
It’s so irresponsible.

cheriepriest.com•470 days ago

::nods sagely::
whomst indeed

lizbenbrooks.bsky.social•470 days ago

Well not yet, but I’m working on it.

mjfgates.bsky.social•470 days ago

Lady's got good taste in men, apparently.

pattinichols.bsky.social•470 days ago

after three husbands it’s just irresponsible.

mostlymartha.bsky.social•470 days ago

When you are so young and attractive, the vampire thinks of you like a food court that only serves all you can eat husband.

melle.ca•470 days ago

I mean, an attractive woman is likely to have attractive husbands, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're *tasty*, so the logic is flawed. Unless they're being turned to perpetuate the whole hot vampire thing.

tanyapacker.bsky.social•470 days ago

🤣

richmondie.bsky.social•470 days ago

"Just unlucky, I guess!"

fckthemacaroni.bsky.social•470 days ago

25 year-old?

Damn! That woman is busy!

dwcrooks.bsky.social•470 days ago

Kinda have to be with some vampire always murdering your husband 🤷‍♂️

t2thacoops.bsky.social•470 days ago

Big "uhhhhh, NO, I didn't have premarital sex, I'm still a virgin! I was... impregnated *by God*" vibes, well done, Sumatran 25yo

3fecta.bsky.social•470 days ago

Peter Thiel does get around.

ajmirabelle.bsky.social•470 days ago

If I had a nickel... 🤔😂

beth71.bsky.social•470 days ago

THE vampire? Was there like…just one that everybody knows about?
*finds another pale corpse*
DAMN IT BOB!!!

tanyapacker.bsky.social•470 days ago

🤣

juliemoonthego.bsky.social•470 days ago

There’s a point where you need to stop inviting your Transylvanian relatives to the wedding.

prsturgeon.bsky.social•470 days ago

Reluctantly sharing this with my wife

berenerd.bsky.social•470 days ago

My question is, do they need to be husbands to be taken by a vampire? I don't want to get married

coreopsismajor.bsky.social•470 days ago

Indonesian vampires rule, quite honestly

mostlymartha.bsky.social•470 days ago

They're the coolest kids at vampire high.

telesilla.bsky.social•58 days ago

It’s so special when you lose your first husband to a vampire, but honestly it becomes a bit routine and, dare I say, boring by the time you lose the fifth one.

bviola.bsky.social•470 days ago

This is just like what happens in Tobit, one of the books that Martin Luther sadly threw out of the Protestant Bible. In Tobit, a woman goes through 7 husbands, a demon killing each on their wedding night. It’s a great read. A guy goes blind from a bird crapping in his eye.