I hate how incel entered the popular lexicon. people love to attribute abusive behavior with singlehood when the main drivers of patriarchal violence are married and partnered men! - ThreadSky

wagatwe.com • 51 days ago

I hate how incel entered the popular lexicon. people love to attribute abusive behavior with singlehood when the main drivers of patriarchal violence are married and partnered men!

Reposted from Diamen

The term “incel” becoming popular is so annoying bc people will just call anyone an incel

Comments

mzofpdx.bsky.social•51 days ago

My first husband became my worst nightmare. He did things and said things, i had never thought he would.. but he did and I left.. took way too long.. but i left..

Women don't leave our obligations, we leave bad, abusive men and take our obligations with us, on our way.

saltzman.bsky.social•51 days ago

People would also probably be fascinated by the origin and history of the term / Alana Foster + the way it was highjacked by people to create almost the exact opposite community it was intended for

anubisthejackal.bsky.social•51 days ago

As with "Boomer" as an insult, it's more a mindset than a literal correlation.

I mean, yes, it started from a literal place, but my feeling is that it's evolved to include repulsive, red pilled MRA types that just hate women while still being hetero and obsessed with them.

dalassa.bsky.social•51 days ago

It’s frustrating for those of us who could classify the manosphere into different submovements. Incel was a very distinct thing that was separate from MGTOW, neo-patriarchy or basic red pill stuff.

dalassa.bsky.social•51 days ago

The current incel faction was a reaction to pick-up of all things.

kattrieze.bsky.social•51 days ago

People were calling Luigi an Incel on here because someone said his back injury made it difficult to be intimate which is like definitely not an incel thing!

wagatwe.com•51 days ago

sex and romantic relationships are not a reward for being a good person! look at republican leadership! they're terrible people in relationships, most of whom are married!

mrdonkey.bsky.social•49 days ago

You! Should really! Use more! Exclamation points!

smenor.com•50 days ago

Seriously somehow most of the very worst people are in relationships

tomuch2do.bsky.social•51 days ago

I wonder how many cheated on their spouse?

jdw519.bsky.social•50 days ago

It's frustrating enough trying to meet people but being told that if you have difficulty making connections it means you're probably a shitty loser, absolutely does not help the morale lol 😑

travelerwanted.bsky.social•51 days ago

being married doesn't mean you're having sex. Oh.. that's probably why they're so hard up on controlling women's rights, so that they can't get charged for marital rape, or rape in general... Hell their commander in chief isn't being punished for his crimes why should they. 🤬

lukerussell.bsky.social•51 days ago

However, this does beg the question: Is Lindsey Graham an incel? 🤔

boombutton.bsky.social•51 days ago

Not according to the rumors.

bradiscranky.bsky.social•51 days ago

"as the father of two daughters" is the crap that really gets me

nml-dc.bsky.social•51 days ago

Right. "I have a daughter whom I believe it's my right to control and terrorize."

golvio.bsky.social•50 days ago

Or “I have a beloved pet girl who will someday pass my genes along and therefore deserves to have exceptions made for her, unlike all those other evil, stupid harlots who exist solely to string men along, including my annoying nag wife.”

gmacdonell.bsky.social•51 days ago

Ok, I had never thought of that. Good point.

cglambdin.bsky.social•50 days ago

Plus didn’t it originally come from QAnon-type conspiracy theorists?

hrhzigglewiggle.bsky.social•51 days ago

This point is basic it’s insane that it’s missed. Of course it’s easiest to abuse folk you actually have access to. Incels violence is interesting because they gotta get creative and public to do it but we could all stand to do less rubbernecking and solve the mundane everyday violence we always see

acab.dad•51 days ago

Feels like at some point it became synonymous with “misogynist”, kind of like how “TERF” now means the same thing as “transphobe” to a lot of people

imdmingyour.mom•51 days ago

lmao yeah they’re calling people terfs who aren’t even remotely feminist

imdmingyour.mom•51 days ago

or calling any form of dishonesty “gaslighting”

raantuva.fyi•51 days ago

I especially hate this one.

grrrz.bsky.social•50 days ago

Thats how I understand it. It means misoginy but to the extreme, like visceral hate of women.

electricspacegirl.bsky.social•51 days ago

I’ve seen men who I presume have sex because they have partners called incels because they are right wing assholes. That’s not what the word means! It’s a pet peeve of mine.

wagatwe.com•50 days ago

same!!!!

grrrz.bsky.social•50 days ago

The word describes a specific mindset of men hating women for basically being sentient. That's how the original self described incels think so it seeems fitting to use that term for any man fitting that mindset, irrelevant of the fact they're in a relationship (because that's not what defines them)

wagatwe.com•50 days ago

no. incel is a specific type of misogynist who is INvoluntary CELibate. that part is key

grrrz.bsky.social•50 days ago

I understand how the term came to be but those people don't magically lose their way of thinking once they're in a relationship. It's a whole culture that needs to be teared down. But you make a point and yes the term is abused sometimes.

wagatwe.com•50 days ago

yes they don't lose their way of thinking in a relationship, I agree. however, it's unhelpful to associate all misogyny with being an involuntary celibate. there are unique threats and solutions to dealing with them. diluting the meaning only helps patriarchy

grrrz.bsky.social•50 days ago

ok agreed.

pegaita.bsky.social•51 days ago

That part

nearzone.bsky.social•50 days ago

But if we didn't do this how could we keep making fun of people who aren't getting laid

blkginger.bsky.social•51 days ago

You’re not ‘involuntarily celibate’; you’re an asshole and nobody likes your ass

raantuva.fyi•51 days ago

And it's been warped. Incel was a concept started by a Black woman and then white boys stole and ran with it and made it horrifying.

grrrz.bsky.social•50 days ago

As we understand it it means someone who hates women. That has pretty much nothing to do with being in a relationship. It's the whole mindset (which basically goes further than 'just' patriarchy). It's ok for words to evolve meaning but I get that it can be confusing.

eyegah.bsky.social•51 days ago

UNDERRATED POINT right here👆

mutant.pizza•51 days ago

It’s sort of like how so many people like to say that homophobes are closet cases.

Not everything is a villain origin story. Quit trying to say these people are victims, or that they are self-hating members of a marginalized group.

A lot of people are just assholes.

songsinmydreams.bsky.social•49 days ago

Been thinking about this since I first saw it & it puts words to something I’ve been thinking about. I think there’s something very revealing about a culture that shames people who are lonely during a historically lonely time. It feels more like a defense mechanism the more I sit with it

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