I am nonbinary. The gender that no longer officially exists in the United States. I was offered the chance to change my gender designation to "X" on my passport and driver's license in 2023. I decided not to and here's why.
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Annalee, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Obviously, you're an amazing person who doesn't deserve this, but also I don't know what else can be said. I have trans friends and family and my heart hurts all the time now. Thanks for explaining why you're making your choices.
I write a lot about archaeology in my professional life, which means I travel to a lot of countries where the cultural norms are very different from the ones in California, where I live. I was worried about border agents asking, "What is this X?"
It's difficult to enter some countries, even if you've applied months in advance and gotten a special visa. Especially if you're going on a research trip as a journalist. I didn't want to add an additional issue into the mix.
I didn't choose to designate myself "F" lightly. I've waited my whole life to be seen as nonbinary, instead of endlessly dealing with the "male or female?" question in every possible situation. Honestly it was a bummer. But I need to travel, and I get that my culture isn't universal.
Never, in all my pondering about this, did I ever consider that I would be protecting myself from my own federal government. That I would have to worry about passing through the border back into the country where I was born.
I worried about having my passport confiscated far from home, on another continent. I just never considered that the privilege of a US passport could suddenly be weaponized against me and every other trans and nonbinary American. Obviously, I was a fool.
So now I have an "F" on my passport and my driver's license. When historians look at government records centuries from now, they will think I was a woman. This is what it means to be made invisible, to have your history stolen from you.
I am so unbelievably sorry. I have a non-binary child and had to discuss this issue today, since we’re working on visas (the passport was obtained before they came out). It crushes me to see anyone have to hide. But we see y’all and y’all haven’t been erased to us.
I take so much hope from situations like yours, where you're raising a kid who is nonbinary and who knows that they *will* be seen by the people who matter around them. I hope your kid and all the other nonbinary and trans kids grow up to reject this era as the cruel absurdity it is.
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