family—and maybe especially parents—is one of the great subjects of literature. imagine telling a novelist not to write about parents, about families - ThreadSky

chenchenwrites.bsky.social • 89 days ago

family—and maybe especially parents—is one of the great subjects of literature. imagine telling a novelist not to write about parents, about families

Reposted from Adrian Dallas Frandle

sometimes it’s okay not to speak and also not to publish stupidity.

www.nytimes.com/2024/11/28/b...

Comments

kathyfagan.bsky.social•89 days ago

was told all my life what i should & shouldn’t write about. screw all that!

victoriachang.bsky.social•89 days ago

I love your poems about your family ♥️

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

thank you!! that means so much

rachelsedelman.bsky.social•89 days ago

“Here is a social structure pressed upon you; by the way, you can’t critically examine it” is like the definition of hegemony

angelshartz.bsky.social•89 days ago

My mom made me swear not to write about her until after she died.

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

this seems like a somewhat common occurence. and i can understand. just personally, if my mother had asked this of me, i don’t think i could go along with it

angelshartz.bsky.social•89 days ago

I agreed but then changed my mind and just waited until she retired lol I’m glad bc I think it might have almost killed me not to write about her/ what happened

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

yes! there is such a deep need

katiemanningpoet.bsky.social•89 days ago

If Billy Collins doesn't like it, then we must be doing something right. 🤣

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

out of the very (like, commercially) popular white US poets, mary oliver is the one whose work i continue to share. not that there aren’t aspects of her writing i also find problematic. and there are poems by collins i enjoy, but in general his poetics—and worldview—i can’t get onboard

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

i write so much about my family in my poems because poetry is one of the few places where i feel i can be completely honest without sacrificing complexity (or concision lol)

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

i think telling someone not to write about/from what deeply matters to them is wrong. which is also not to say that anyone can just write about anything (some writers don’t have the range) (and often, more research and thinking need to happen)

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

it’s also very funny to me, all the times i’ve heard older poets proudly proclaim they’re against writing about parents, and then so much of their work is about their children and about themselves as… parents

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

i get that the complaint about writing of one’s parents is (ostensibly) about wanting to avoid narcissism. but there are plenty of ways to be narcissistic in one’s poetry. as collins’s work amply demonstrates

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

btw i wonder how many parent poets have asked their children whether it’s okay to write about them… much of the permission discourse seems to focus on the other way around

jobellwriter.bsky.social•89 days ago

He's not telling anyone not to - he's saying those poems are not to his taste.

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

i’m not saying he specifically is telling anyone not to. i’m saying there’s an implied discouragement or prescriptive gesture, especially given his stature in (at least US) contemporary poetry. but more than that, i’m talking about my own pedagogical approach or preferences

kristinwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

I am reading Collins for the first time right now. I’ve enjoyed some pieces but last nights chunk was meh.

I write about being mom all the time. It’s a core part of who I am.

bigh8er.bsky.social•89 days ago

I just wanna say— my friend sent
me “I invite my Parents to a Dinner Party” when I was (and still am) dealing with my Chinese immigrant family after coming out and I cannot tell you the amount of comfort your poem gave me. Writing about family just touches such an incredibly fundamental experience

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

thank you for sharing this! wow. so glad the poem was comforting in this way

bigh8er.bsky.social•89 days ago

thank you for your talent 🥺

yaelv.bsky.social•89 days ago

literally never finished the one book by him that was gifted to me because i was bored to death

vankhanna.bsky.social•89 days ago

Uhm…that’s the main focus of my first two books…never mind I guess.

djvorreyer.bsky.social•89 days ago

That was my reaction - you dismiss anything about family? Sir, your drivel can't hold a candle to contemporary writing about family, ESPECIALLY mothers and fathers.

stephaniekmerrill.bsky.social•89 days ago

I concur with Virginia Woolf. I write what I'll want to read when I am old, and I'm certain I'll want to read about family, friends, people. Collins will not be at my cocktail party.

maryloubuchi.bsky.social•89 days ago

I despise him! What a stupid piece of nonsense.

schmutzie.com•89 days ago

I've got dead relatives and ones on their way that are getting poems written about them. Family tea is delicious and healing.

pintsncupcakes.bsky.social•89 days ago

Ah Billy Collins still out being the worst I see 😐

glapointewriter.bsky.social•89 days ago

As most people reading this probably know, Collins has a poem about a lanyard that's also about his mom. 🤦‍♀️

chenchenwrites.bsky.social•89 days ago

one of his most famous poems lol

glapointewriter.bsky.social•89 days ago

Yep!

stephvanderslice.bsky.social•89 days ago

Yep.

stephvanderslice.bsky.social•89 days ago

I was told by the Atlantic editor once in a rejection that: "we don't generally publish stories about mothers." The story was actually about a single father who had lost his wife.

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply