Well. I am weeping for a marriage from 270 years ago. And for the love that they shared and the devastation she and her daughter must have felt and for the genuine sadness of it all.
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These are real people that we study. They loved and they hated and they feared and they hoped. They lived and they died. And you spend time with them, and sometimes you mourn them.
I came across the pension testimony of a freedwoman whose dying husband (service-connected TB) hugged her hard and said he loved every hair on her head, and then I had to go outside and walk around.
I feel the same way about the families I study in genealogy. Sarah McGiehan on the 1900 Census: How many children born? 12. How many children living? 3
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Bless you for keeping that love alive.
Feeling things for your fellow human being is nothing to be ashamed of.