I am so tired of people telling me I am intimidating. I am not. I have stuffed animals. I make up songs about my dog. I decorate cakes. I am super quiet. You just see a tall, large Black woman and get scared. Deal with that.
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As a tall fat person, people who don’t know me used to tell me how intimidating I was all the time. Now I’m trans and they stopped talking to me. People who know me tell me I’m cuddly.
I met you once, when I looked different, at UNT, and though I was barely able to speak and having a little meltdown, you were incredibly kind and lovely to me and made me feel safe.
One time someone told me I was intimidating.
My friend looked at them and said,
'is she intimidating or are you intimidated?"
And from that moment on I refuse to take responsibility for how others react to my presence.
I saw you speak in Chicago with Gloria Steinem, and what I remember most is that you wouldn’t let the sign language interpreter be intimidated into “getting out of the way.” If people find you intimidating, it likely has something to do with who you’re standing up for and what privilege they expect.
Without clicking on you're info I do not know if you are tall 😊
Or if any of you info is real so I don't feel intimidated by people on social media but you words can give me a clue about you and you are ok just a normal person living life and communicating with people who may be truthful 😀
I find, anyone who challenges the status quo these days, gets labeled aggressive. If I don't simply shut up, let it be, and continue to let folks ignore all the chaos, I'm, "angry all the time." Wish more folks were angry with me.
I've been told that I look really angry all the time and I kinda scare kids. But I'm genuinely not angry very often at all. Im just over 6" and have resting bitch face
We can do something about the common white cultural belief that "Black people are scary" though: talk about it, realize it's not acceptable, and call it out when it's expressed. It's a racist belief that perpetuates injustice.
It’s not just a white thing (although it sure contributes). I’m a 6”1’ wide-shouldered big ole white dude with a beard and semi-shaved head. I constantly have to walk softly and speak quietly because people are terrified of me. It’s exhausting. I’m an insecure cat dad with self esteem issues.
Yes we can. But we cannot change a whole history that, sadly, brought one person to those erroneous beliefs. What changes such ideas is being in community with people different than you. We are, sadly, moving in the wrong direction in this country.
I would like to go on the record as saying that I found you whatever the utter opposite of intimidating is, and you have extremely kind and observant eyes.
Same! I've been told the same thing all my life and I wasn't even large. I was a 5'7" 120lb when wet girl. Kept getting told "I look mean". I swear people make up the most! 🙄
I hope they're "stuffed" stuffed animals and not taxidermied stuffed, because frankly I'd probably find that intimidating.
Super quiet is good for the mental health, I've noticed. Usually.
Really?
I'm actually quiet too. Sometimes I think quiet people are hard to relate to. I open up around those I'm comfortable with. Especially in a crowd I would rather watch than talk. Maybe because people often interrupt me, talk over me, I've learned to be quiet. Sometimes I feel I'm invisible.
I brought a big group of students to hear your lecture at McGill and we went out to dinner afterward. You had absolutely put them at their ease; they were in a raucously good mood all through dinner. (More relaxed than they usually are in my company.)
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My friend looked at them and said,
'is she intimidating or are you intimidated?"
And from that moment on I refuse to take responsibility for how others react to my presence.
It's interesting to read about how people react to your presence. Just hearing a little piece of it, because this doesn't happen w/ me.
"I refuse to take responsibility for how others react to my presence" Thank you for giving me something to think about!
you are a strong, beautiful indipendent woman, love you!
Or if any of you info is real so I don't feel intimidated by people on social media but you words can give me a clue about you and you are ok just a normal person living life and communicating with people who may be truthful 😀
I’m 6’2” and 265#.. my size intimidates some people.. being black doesn’t make a difference to me!
Super quiet is good for the mental health, I've noticed. Usually.
I'm actually quiet too. Sometimes I think quiet people are hard to relate to. I open up around those I'm comfortable with. Especially in a crowd I would rather watch than talk. Maybe because people often interrupt me, talk over me, I've learned to be quiet. Sometimes I feel I'm invisible.