the maga chodes are never going to subscribe to your paper, brah - ThreadSky

goldengateblond.bsky.social • 38 days ago

the maga chodes are never going to subscribe to your paper, brah

The Washington Post began trying out a new mission statement this week: “Riveting Storytelling for All of America.” It comes amid turmoil in the newsroom.

Comments

rapbastardz.bsky.social•38 days ago

Most can’t read anyway.

bruisedthumb.bsky.social•38 days ago

And the ones who can, refuse to.

rapbastardz.bsky.social•38 days ago

They all just need a jujitsu expert/comedian/testosterone affirming bro to whisper the info in their ears via podcast.

gen-x-sam.bsky.social•38 days ago

Primarily, due to their lack of education and literacy.

thetomfrank.bsky.social•38 days ago

Uh-oh! The publishers of “The National Enquirer” must be shaking in their boots about now!

codemistress.bsky.social•38 days ago

So few of them read anything

mushymiddle.bsky.social•38 days ago

Sounds like a good tag-line for a publisher of fiction.

ticosfrancisco.bsky.social•38 days ago

Sacrificing all journalistic integrity for supposedly higher circulation numbers ain’t gonna work, Bezos. Should’ve stuck with retail…👎

arthuragain.bsky.social•37 days ago

That's not the plan. The plan is to present bothsides to moderates, and push moderates steadily to the right.

Like they've been doing for decades.

pisssedoffgrandpa.bsky.social•38 days ago

It should say "Riveting All of America."

xpatjock.bsky.social•38 days ago

They'll only but it if it WP switches to Tabloid RedTop format and introduces "Page 3" a la Sun...
... And cuts out the big words...

denisestarr.bsky.social•38 days ago

“STORYTELLING!??!!??” The NEWS is being called STORYTELLING?!??!?

goldengateblond.bsky.social•38 days ago

"stories" is a common word for news pieces. that's not the problem here.

denisestarr.bsky.social•38 days ago

True. I think I’m assuming what it actually will be, as opposed to news.

sopranospinner.bsky.social•38 days ago

Storytelling, eh? So you're admitting to making it up? Okaaaay.

thomasbanacek.bsky.social•38 days ago

Storytelling isn’t making things up. It’s telling the story. Many writers do this in long articles. They’re long-winded and usually follow the same pattern. Start with the story you want to tell, then go back 50 years to some other point of emphasis, tell long story then, come back to present,…

sopranospinner.bsky.social•38 days ago

It isn't *always* making things up but it is making room for it.

thomasbanacek.bsky.social•38 days ago

As if MAGA are going to read a 5000 word story. I can’t make it through most of them. It’s like “skip to the present please”.

gonzosgirrl.bsky.social•37 days ago

They know they are supposed to *report* stories, right? I stopped watching the news when the talking heads started spouting their opinion of the news instead of the facts. Now newspapers are as bad. What's left? How do we get actual news when we can't even always believe our eyes anymore?

nathanimal.bsky.social•38 days ago

I guess after they contributed to the darkness in which democracy died they needed to write a new mission statement, but did they assign that task to an intern?

ethicspro.bsky.social•38 days ago

Exactly.

cckitty.bsky.social•38 days ago

Very sad about this

marsyd.bsky.social•38 days ago

They’re on the road to nowhere.

darthfos.bsky.social•38 days ago

They already spent all their money on Let’s Go Brandon swag

05phatty.bsky.social•38 days ago

We know they make up a large percentage of the 54% of adults who read at or below the 6th grade level.

lisacarp.bsky.social•38 days ago

They might if they are told to.

groundingrod.bsky.social•38 days ago

The NYT pointing out the WaPo’s dilemma while studiously ignoring the fact they’re in the exact same spot:

robert148.bsky.social•38 days ago

Fuck the WAPO.

darkthymes.bsky.social•38 days ago

yalltoonosy.bsky.social•38 days ago

Never forget who owns The Post now.

virginiafrog.bsky.social•38 days ago

We don’t need storytelling, riveting or otherwise…how about just the news?

johnpaulhi.bsky.social•38 days ago

Searching for their new base

cbourne.bsky.social•38 days ago

I stayed for the games but now I’m totally off.

justinhallock.bsky.social•38 days ago

“Riveting storytelling” already has its champion.

wendella.bsky.social•38 days ago

They don't subscribe to ANY newspapers, and that's part of the problem!

catherine-p-henry.bsky.social•38 days ago

Probably most MAGA don't pay for serious, professional newspapers.

nightfury76.bsky.social•38 days ago

They would have to learn how to read first. That's why they like the poorly educated so much. They parrot what they are told. They don't read.

ord2pdx2tbd.bsky.social•38 days ago

So it’s dark and democracy is dead and now, we’re going to make up happy stories as pablum to keep the masses in line. How swiftly the mighty fall.

ricosuavejd.bsky.social•38 days ago

They're doing anything the can to 'appeal to everyone' which is nonsense.

All they've done is make it clear they're putting readership numbers before facts. Pandering trash.

atomicdumpling.bsky.social•37 days ago

News isn't supposed to be storytelling. It's news.

pjeanne97.bsky.social•38 days ago

Imagine running a paper solely to kiss someone’s ass.

bugdrown.bsky.social•38 days ago

Storytelling.

jwesselhoff.bsky.social•38 days ago

This seems to hit it right on the head

dajerseyboy.bsky.social•38 days ago

No but the MAGA influencers will quote it selectively whenever it suits their purposes and isn’t that enough? 🤣

a-smile-4u.bsky.social•38 days ago

I cancelled my subscription when he let democracy die in his darkness. Remember NEVER even go to their links, site, "news" b/c it registers on the social media scales. Total "dead to me" position!

loki1001.bsky.social•38 days ago

The Post and the Times and basically all of mainstream news have been trying this since Trump won the first time and it always fails.

All they ever accomplish is irritating the people who actually do subscribe into unsubscribing and producing noticeably bad coverage of the news.

donnadon.bsky.social•38 days ago

the very idea *snicker*

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