Hello, here I am! 😂
And I feel so bad, I'd love to interact more with my peeps on Discord but most of the time I feel sooo tired, and english is not my first language so I just... don't 🥲
Gosh that is so true, I feel so awkward as a non native speaker. Everyone else is just chatting away and having fun whereas I need to focus on making sense and not saying something dumb haha
And that's a shame because all the people I met on Twitter and I found again in the Discord server are the most lovely ones on this planet and I'm like 🥲🥲🥲
Exactly that!! I'm always afraid to translate something in the wrong way and I just can't do some light chit chat like the others!
(I'm not a big chatter even in my mother language, tbh 😂)
🫂sorry you feel this way too, it really can be quite stressful to try and engage with a lot of people, especially when you don't know them that well (or at all)
Yeah and like opening the server to see 100+ new messages is so daunting! It always feels like by the time I figure out how to say something without it being incomprehensible or weird to total strangers the convo changed several topics already 💀💀
I get that. I would recommend starting small with stuff like reacting to messages or posts from others, and finding little moments to add to conversations. Baby steps and no pressure. It does get easier
Ummm.. me 😅 I get a bit overwhelmed if there are quite a bit of people there, it kinda feels like the digital equivalent of a big party, the chat moves so quickly and I often just end up lurking aaah
🤝 I've never thought of it this way but you're right. When I log in and I see 200+ new messages in a given server it's like wow there really is a party going on and I just barged in (also not a fan of big parties irl so that tracks)
Yeah same 🤝 never been a big party person either. One on one socializing I can do and I enjoy it, and even something like 4 or 6 people. But when there are more than 10 people actively chatting I often become rather quiet, the fast chat feels like the digital equivalent of a really noisy party
100%
I'm part of two currently! I joined in hopes of getting over the trouble I generally have talking to people I don't know. Your classic overthinking, intrusive thoughts type stuff.
But I just end up sitting there, watching other people talk.
Every time I open discord I’m like, I’m gonna be a more active participant! And then I just emoji react to a few posts and say ‘that’s pretty’ and sign off 🤦♀️ I never learn
Yes! Especially when everyone else seems to already knows each other, most of the time they are very welcoming to newcomers but I feel like the new kid in class and that I can't keep up with them :,)
Secondo me fa piacere, poi se quando apri discord ti va di parlare un po' io ci sono sempre!! Non scrivo mai perché mi viene l'ansietta ma ci sono!!! 💀
I have definitely had this, but then sometimes a server just hits the right hyperfixation spot at the right time and then it rolls somehow, haha! But also, I think it's okay to be the 'drops in to say 2 sentences and disappear for a month' person, if that's what works for you :D
Yes. I've had luck in a couple of them, but I've only ever lurked in all the rest. It's a mix of language skills and being afraid to reveal my inner silliness. 😅
I do the same, I managed to make friends once and never again!!
I possibly get more scared in DMs and comments section, I am so scared all the time and I never feel like anyone would want to talk to me, but I think it's important to at least try 😭😭😭😭
ALL the time! I find discord weirdly overwhelming. People are always mid-conversation and jumping in feels odd. Then I forget about it for 6+ months, and so the cycle repeats
As much as I want to have a solid community, I also fear that I wont be able to keep up because sometimes I just need to recuperate from all the socializing 😭
I joined a co-working server a few weeks ago. I looked around a bit and then proceeded to go full introvert panic-mode at the idea of actually interacting. I left the server after 5 minutes 🫠
This is my experience to a tee. I’ll see a conversation I would’ve liked to take part in, notice it was concluded 10 hours ago and feel bad for wanting to reply because it makes me feel like an attention seeker, then keep quiet and the cycle repeats and I never say anything at all.
So, so relatable. I do sometimes miss slow paced forums, like conceptart org or cgtalk. In discords everything tends to move so quickly, and being either in other time zone, or generally tired and introverted, it really is quite tricky. Usually end up just lurking, yeah.
That's a good point, and I've definitely been in a handful of servers where I could freely yap and not feel awkward. The only thing they had in common was the (small) number of people there, I think I'm just not used to interacting with a lot of people at once.
for large servers i think the trick is approaching it more like a party or larger gathering irl, theres a bunch of people having multiple conversations, and its fine if they overlap or you hear snippets of other convos - using the reply feature is very helpful here too
you could also try waiting for "quiet periods" and start convos yourself to get into it slowly but that only works if your in an "odd" timezone relative to the server population
Meeee I lurk in so many discord servers but have a lot of trouble being active in most of them… I never know how my tone comes off/will be read in smaller groups.. my strategy is to just to emoji react and drop a comment every once in a while
shhhh why you post so loud over here?? 😭 (i actually just cleared out a bunch of art servers I've pretty much never interacted with beyond maybe an intro 💦)
Honestly I don't think I've ever been great with group chats?? I think I've always found it so hard to find an "in" on a convo. So then I just wind up rarely/never saying anything at all. 🫠
so... from what I gathered in the replies there are about 10-ish people that feel the same...
Maybe you could bundle up and make your own small discord group and start hanging out among yourself? and when you're comfortable with that you can think about joining a bigger discord group together?
Comments
And I feel so bad, I'd love to interact more with my peeps on Discord but most of the time I feel sooo tired, and english is not my first language so I just... don't 🥲
(I'm not a big chatter even in my mother language, tbh 😂)
I'm part of two currently! I joined in hopes of getting over the trouble I generally have talking to people I don't know. Your classic overthinking, intrusive thoughts type stuff.
But I just end up sitting there, watching other people talk.
I possibly get more scared in DMs and comments section, I am so scared all the time and I never feel like anyone would want to talk to me, but I think it's important to at least try 😭😭😭😭
sometimes you learn the server is not your people when you do that, and thats okay, you just stop and try to find another one
Yes
I want to interact but it's not just the many servers, it's also the many channels in each server
Yeeeeah it's a looot :3
I miss the old days of mIRC when it was basically just one chatroom lol
I struggle even keeping up with my in-person friendships. 😭
Maybe you could bundle up and make your own small discord group and start hanging out among yourself? and when you're comfortable with that you can think about joining a bigger discord group together?