1/ Just a boring married Millennial but my actual advice to Gen Z men is: talk to more women in casual settings in public (in line at Starbucks, at bars, wherever). Not in a flirty way but a general social way. Avoid crypto and gambling. Spend your fun money on friends and dates. - ThreadSky

ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social • 2 days ago

1/ Just a boring married Millennial but my actual advice to Gen Z men is: talk to more women in casual settings in public (in line at Starbucks, at bars, wherever). Not in a flirty way but a general social way. Avoid crypto and gambling. Spend your fun money on friends and dates.

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ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social•2 days ago

2/ Have at least one hobby that gets you out off your couch. Doesn't have to be anything fancy or special, just something that gives you a small sense of community, where you can organically meet people. It's fine to live at home for a couple years to save money. Might be worth it in the long-term.

ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social•2 days ago

3/ But you probably won't date a lot when that happens. Realize your early 20's are gonna be hard and have a network that supports you. Friends, family, SOs/hook-ups, all are a valid support network if they show up. The Internet is okay but most of those people can't hang with you on a bad day.

ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social•2 days ago

4/ 70% of social controversies can be avoided by treating people with respect. People will remember when you gave them a break, showed sympathy, or otherwise were there for them. Likewise people will remember when you weren't. Save shit-talking for video games and sports.

ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social•2 days ago

5/ Travel if you can. You won't have money and life can often feel like a grind, and sometimes the best way to break it up is to change your scenery. Doesn't have to be expensive, and having a friend or family member you can travel with is a fine cheat code. Your goal is to do something different.

ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social•2 days ago

6-FINAL/ 70% of people telling you what women want or how to be sexy or desirable are selling you some bullshit, especially influencers. Women will actually tell you what they want if you just ask, and if women in your life can't do it, you need to move onto ones who can answer a direct question.

alexanotherone.bsky.social•2 days ago

Sometimes different women want the opposite things, and it's not because women are liars its because women are people who are formed by different experiences

circleofchaos.bsky.social•2 days ago

Very well done. Earned my follow!

ohdeerthermos.bsky.social•2 days ago

Exactly, you're not "getting" anyone. You're not trying to win. You're trying to have a relationship with someone (and there are many different kinds of relationships). Seeing it as some kind of contest dehumanizes both of you

janbellina.bsky.social•2 days ago

Maybe avoid porn sites too; find out about the non-reproductive aspects of women.

boganjosh.bsky.social•2 days ago

Good advice - and don't stand in silence in a lift - it's creepy and unnerving. "Beautiful day out there, isn't it?" and go from there - it's great being a nice guy, not a smartass...

deficit-hawktuah.bsky.social•2 days ago

Think of women as human beings who have all the same core feelings you Dom Have basic empathy. Small talk is fine and it doesn't always lead anywhere.

deficit-hawktuah.bsky.social•2 days ago

Feels like men growing out of this has been retarded by social media/toxic brainrot and isolation.

everythingnothing.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oh fuck I’m not ready for us boring married millennials to be giving this kind of advice. But demonstrably we have gotten old.

I would add: “have some interests and passions other than video games and sports. Doesn’t really matter what, just something to set you slightly apart.”

ghostingeffect.bsky.social•2 days ago

Can I suggest maybe less emphasis on talking to women who are strangers and normalizing just having women in your life as friends. And check yourself when you start thinking it’s something more than that.

ghostingeffect.bsky.social•2 days ago

I don’t want to speak for women on this one but I can say with certainty that being approached in line at a store by men is something they’ve talked about almost exclusively negatively.

Probably best not to recommend that as a general goal to men at large.

Coffee shop line isn’t a social event. Go

ghostingeffect.bsky.social•2 days ago

to a music festival or other group activity (as you suggested below). Women will talk to you as friends without you even trying.

ghostingeffect.bsky.social•2 days ago

And guess what - the friends you make there will also have friends and now you have women in your friend group. If you don’t, you’re probably doing something creepy. Like approaching women at Starbucks.

kevinhewett.bsky.social•2 days ago

Talking to people you don't know has recently become "cringe"

#nowyouknow

mallgothriot.bsky.social•2 days ago

One thing to absolutely be is ruthless in a relationship. What do I mean? Date. Ask a wide variety out. Connect. If they say no? Meh. Oh well. If you don't like them? Meh. Oh well. They want to belittle you or be mean? Meh. Next. The idea is to find what you want and keep it. If they're not? Meh.

mallgothriot.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ask for boundaries and keep yours. Respect and be respected. Developing emotional maturity is vital. Social skills take practice.

mallgothriot.bsky.social•2 days ago

If people in public can't handle small talk and a prop for a date? Oh well. It's not creepy. It's life. Let rejections bite them when they choose a complete life destroyer of a partner, or worse, they choose no one to share what little time we have. Take it from me, it happens.

connorlynch.bsky.social•2 days ago

Feeling and being genuinely interested in other people in a moment is a really important skill. And people can smell ulterior motives from a million miles away.
This is true for dating, sales, professional networking, casual conversation, socializing at parties with people you don’t know, etc.

ordinarycatholic.bsky.social•2 days ago

Be decent and likeable. Great advice.

benpulver.bsky.social•2 days ago

Yes, this is what we’ve been telling our kids. Have friends, hobbies, interests, talents. Play an instrument. Join clubs. You’ll meet people who have similar interests values based on the groups you’re in. Show that you value people as more than just dates, and bring something to the conversation.

richservo.bsky.social•2 days ago

Wild to see millennials giving out dadvice. I thought you were the generation that killed Chili’s.

beneprism.rip•2 days ago

If you get used to talking to strangers when there's no stakes, you will have an easier time talking to people you're interested in without conveying "I am about to have a heart attack because of how much I wanna hit it"

groverhaustenbosch.bsky.social•2 days ago

yeah as going to say, just talking to other people at the anti-musk protest i went to did wonders for calibration

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