I can't compete with this candidate pool. So many people are out of a job right now, and SO MANY of those people _do_ program at home. They _do_ have personal sites. They _do_ post blog posts to LinkedIn. I look like shit next to that, even though I'm every bit as good. - ThreadSky

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aratin.gay • 23 hours ago

I can't compete with this candidate pool. So many people are out of a job right now, and SO MANY of those people _do_ program at home. They _do_ have personal sites. They _do_ post blog posts to LinkedIn. I look like shit next to that, even though I'm every bit as good.

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aratin.gay•23 hours ago

I'm good at my job. I take real pride in my work. I pursue quality at every possible turn. I care deeply about both the people who need to use the software I make, AND the people who need to maintain it in the future. In my experience, the grind types actually DON'T do this.

aratin.gay•23 hours ago

But I can't prove any of this to prospective employers. I can't show them my work from my previous jobs because of Reasons. So I just look like a batch of unknowns and a risk. If I were a cis guy, it'd be slightly easier, but it's still hell out there. I hate it so much.

aratin.gay•23 hours ago

I don't get why I don't deserve a chance. I don't get why the only people ever willing to take the gamble with me end up being these orgs that can't keep the lights on for an entire year after bringing me on board. I don't get why my entire life is so fucking cursed! I don't know what I did.

aratin.gay•23 hours ago

I just want to work. I want to do good work. I want to get paid to do good work. I want coworkers who don't want me dead. I want a job that isn't trying to find ways to eliminate the need for me. I want a company that actually knows how to shore up its finances and take itself seriously.

aratin.gay•23 hours ago

I'm so fucking tired. This world is trying so hard to kill me, and I really don't want to let it, but every day I feel weaker and weaker and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do when my last ounces of willpower are depleted and my options have entirely dried up. I don't deserve this. No one does.

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